2018 I had 71 blog posts, which is the only double digit year I have had since my first year of blogging (every other year was three digits), with good reason. I did a lot in my personal life, I had a lot going on that took me away and did not give me much time on my computer to sit down and go through pictures (which is how I know what to blog about usually), not to mention the latter half of the year I was consumed with getting the house ready to sell and then buying our new home.
My word for 2018 was FOCUS (with the end in mind), which I divided into four parts:
Parenting-I think that I struggled so much with this this past year. I am getting better about involving the kids as they get older with chores and helping around the house and that is still a work in progress but the twins have helped me clean bathrooms and the kids love to vacuum and my kids can all unload a dishwasher so it wasn't a total loss. My biggest struggle was finding time for little d since he is gone for the longest amount of time during the day and then wants to be with friends or just out of the house instead of hanging out with us, BUT I will say that buying more family games (or getting them like our favorite SUSHI GO!) has really helped us to bond as a family.
Turning Learning to Teaching-I did take the time to finish quite a few books this year on my own which was not easy. I continued to read the Old Testament but transitioned at the end of the year into New Testament (thanks to Come Follow Me, which is seriously an answer to prayers for knowing what to teach my kids for family night and just in general during the week!). I have been hit and miss with waking up early to study but when I do it sets the tone for the rest of my day and I love that.
Creating-Unfortunately my artmaking has really stalled this year. I don't know what else to say, but I still enjoy working in my sketchbook with my kids on Sundays and at least I have that time, even if I am just making cartoons. This year I felt like since losing the naps with the twins (even with them being in prek, which I really just ended up using that time to prep the house for moving so I never truly got to enjoy that time as "me" time), I struggled with getting time to be creative. But I still was able to carve time out for reading because of how much I love reading and found some really good books, so I am okay that this part of my focus took the backburner this year.
Being an Athlete-I started going to Fieldhouse fitness and spin which I loved both and felt amazing. I did a half dozen Whole30s (I could do those perfectly) but then struggled with how to "food freedom forever" post-whole30. I went on two whole30 retreats and even contemplated becoming a whole30 coach because man did I know my whole30 stuff...but it never felt right. Then the path I was on lead me to discovering Intuitive eating and the Health at Every Size movement and I felt like THIS, this was what felt right to me. (sorry whole30!). Unfortunately as I mentioned earlier, I allowed my health in general (Skipping meals, eating out, skipping workouts--gasp!) to fall by the wayside and gained a good 20 pounds at the latter half of the year. Part of that came from being upset/depressed that I would not be able to get a tummy tuck in the near future (because we were moving and our house was expensive and we would be using our savings on that instead of elective surgery, which threw me into a couple months funk I finally snapped out of in December). I disregarded my self-care and paid the price, one that will take probably all of 2019 to recover from, but I am at peace with that. I am at peace with the way my body looks and feels even if it is not where it should be because I know it will not last forever, and it was worth it at the time to make my Utah house look as perfect as possible. I will recover and I will find my athletic space in the next year and my definition of beauty and healthy has been broadened and my eyes have been opened, which I am so grateful for. I am giving myself grace for the first half of 2019 as my body recovers and I learn to find my balance again.
My biggest regret this past year was allowing my self care to fall by the wayside the latter half of 2018, mostly because I felt like the things I had to get done were so important I allowed them to consume me completely, which looking back was probably why I had some significant struggles with balance. Also not spending more quality time with little d.
My biggest accomplishments for 2018 were: earning about 40 relicensure points, potty training the twins (which was LIFE CHANGING), getting the twins in prek (which I never thought we would do), starting the big kids in a charter school (that was based on Covey's habits of highly effective leaders), prepping the house to sell (pretty much entirely on my own... I treated it like my full time job!) and then buying a new home.
So going into 2019, my word for the new year is CHARITY.
I struggled the most with my word this year than I have since I started doing a single word a year. I flirted with a few other words but this was the one that I just kept coming back to.
Charity is defined in scriptures as "The Pure Love of Christ", "Conquers all", "To give", among other things. I felt like it was the missing puzzle piece I was missing so badly in my life.
CHARITY FOR SELF- in the form of compassion for myself and giving myself grace and forgiveness on a daily basis. Acknowledging that I am not perfect and allowing myself to keep trying instead of allowing that imperfection to paralyze me. Because it is only once I truly learn to love myself that I can truly love others.
CHARITY FOR MY SPOUSE AND KIDS- treating the most important people in my life like they are the most important people in my life, which is easy to forget about in the hustle and bustle of the day to day. Specifically to reduce the yelling in my house and increase the acts of kindness.
LEARNING MORE ABOUT CHRIST-Christ was the epitome of charity, and I hope that by learning more about him through reading about his life and teachings I can be a more Christlike person and this can help me with the other two aspects of my goals.
CHARITY FOR OTHERS OUTSIDE OUR HOME- to look for ways myself or my family can bless the lives of others around us, to be aware of those who need help or love, and to seek out those who can be blessed by us because we are so very blessed and I want to make sure we share our blessings with those around us.
This is by far the most spiritually based resolution and I hesitate even putting it out there because I feel like this will be the most challenging resolution I have ever made even if it seems so simple, but I feel like I have been lead to this word in the same way I have been led to this home in Indiana. Let's do this.
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