Last night I had a moment of clarity. I had allowed myself to feel so bogged down for so long by all these things (psoriasis, stressors, cold sores, diastasis, behaviors/attitudes of those around me, social media,etc) that I had very little if any control over. And last night I decided I was going to let them go. I want my life to be filled with things I want to fill it with, and the rest I will allow to fall by the wayside. I am letting go of guilt, hopefully for good this time. I am resetting my priorities. I am going to crossfit tomorrow morning.
So with my alarm set for 5:30 this morning, I got up (after a moment's hesitation...or two), got dressed and was about to leave when I heard... Lan crying. For me. Crap. This was seriously happening. I went over my options and decided to go for the craziest one: I quickly grabbed him before he could wake up Lo, packed a few extra things with me and took him to crossfit with me. He stayed in the stroller the entire hour (!!!) with my phone and snacks and I got my workout and a great start to my day.
It's taken me 31 years but slowly and surely I am going to get there!
I got a wonderful morning with all 3 of my siblings, my mom and my 3 youngest kids. I am such a lucky woman. Then I came home and started on this study guide and realized this sort of studying was the sort of thing I was hungering for the last few months, one of the biggest stones that fell to the wayside since January, and it felt so good to pick it back up again. Peace. In the midst of the storm of chaos that will be brewing over the next month or so, Peace is what I crave most and I feel so blessed that this was the month's topic!
