60 degrees on January 31? Yes please!

For all the grief I give January (with the exception of that one horrid week of bitterly cold temps and pinkeye), it has really been pretty good to us this year. Which obviously means I need to brace myself for February.... Haha! Seriously though we are ready for you February! And since Easter is in March I am ready to bust out spring clothes in approximately 28 days!!!! 

Favorite shot of the day:

We have probably 2 Sunday's left that they will stay with us and I'm afraid we will spend the rest of our Sunday's chasing them away from outlets and stairs (they both climbed the two behind them for the first time today!!)

We watched two Star Wars movies for movie night.... 4 to go?

These cute boys. And when did littlest Lo get so chubby?!?! I mean, those cheeks!!! (I was trying to capture the near identical profile of my biggest and littlest but obviously failed)

Little A is getting to be a powerhouse of help in the kitchen... It's taking some getting used to but I do love the company and the help!

Sippies! Both boys are finally on board with eating and drinking like big kids. Hooray!! Obviously Lo is taking to it much slower and would rather live off crackers and bananas and milk... Lan is up to try anything I give him which makes me feel good that at least one of my four kids will try my culinary experiments!! It's bittersweet to see them growing up because hello they are my last babies but  I am excited for them to be able to be more independant and allow us to do more stuff as a family instead of having to get someone to watch the babies or wait till they are sleeping.

Love love love those twinners!

And on the fifth night of sleep training

No they aren't sleeping through the night. But at least as of last night they aren't feeding through the night!!!

I put the boys down last night around 7:30, And while they took turns waking up and crying (so much cryinggggg), I held strong (inspired by Andrea and also hello they are getting so big and I'm still not sleeping!!!!) and while i got up to comfort them I did not feed them till 6:30 am.

11 hours without eating yayyyyy!!! I may have gotten one of my worst nights of sleep ever but it was worth it to know that they didn't die (irrational thought but still a thought) from lack of milk or overcrying..... And I felt a HUGE amount of freedom like these chains had just been taken off of me. Free!!! I mean still attached within hours of the boys at all times during the day but at night.... Nighttime is mine!! 11 blessed hours!

Then I dragged myself out the door for my very first post twinners 5 miler... I haven't gone more than 4 miles since 2014!!!! It feels like an eternity ago that I ran half marathonS. At a 9 minute pace (I've been doing 11 minutes) whatttt. Also found out this running group gives us chocolate milk at the end of my run so you know I'll be back! (Yes dad I am parked in this picture, don't worry!)

And thanks to that run I hit (my daily goal of) 10,000 steps by 10:10 am haha boo yeah! So that totally justified an hour long nap this afternoon.... ;)

Last but not least... lo's face!! What a little jokester!

My "if you give a mouse a cookie" moment

It all started off so innocently. I was going to roast some broccoli to have for tomorrow and then I realized after it was halfway done that the whole house smelled like broccoli which smells terrible And drew is on his way home and I can't have the house smelling bad when he comes home so why not make some muffins and they happen to have jam in them and I realize that the jam we have was really chunky and we hate chunky jam so I puréed the jam and made the muffins and realized I made a mess so I needed to clean the floors in the kitchen and did I mention I was planning to clean the bathrooms tonight?! Also there is still laundry sitting out that hasn't been folded one load of laundry still in the dryer and I should be in bed because I have a 5 mile run tomorrow morning! This is why nothing ever gets done around here.

Oh right. And that ;)

Charity + Hope + Faith = Joy!

I was cleaning my floors last night and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of pure complete and utter joy. *Light bulb* Whenever this happens, I try to remember it, not just the moment but everything leading up to that moment so that I can, when needed, attempt to recreate it (especially because it is January, my least favorite month of the year, sorry!). Tonight boiled down to a couple of key important things.

1. I mentioned in one of my last posts--service. When we are serving other people (or trying to), we are emanating the love of Christ, which by definition is Charity. Charity is this magical little drug that just melts away everything you thought was terrible about your life and puts everything into perspective. That was probably the precursor leading up to tonight.

2. Hope. I am, by nature, a pretty hopeful person, trusting in the Lord's hand that things will work everything out for me. There are a few things in our lives that are uncertain, there always has and there probably always will be. But I have been blessed with a pretty unshakeable trust in His plan, that as long as I am doing what I am supposed to do, things will be ok. Hope that someday Drew will find a job he loves that doesn't require him to travel so much. Hope that as I continue to spend hours researching and prepping and creating healthy meals for my family, we will continue to be blessed with good health. Hope that I will eventually figure out what makes little a so angry/tantrumming and then so sad much of the time, hope that I will be able to manage little d's crazed emotional outbursts, hope that I will figure out how to balance it all as long as I take it one day at a time. Hope for a brighter future and a better tomorrow than yesterday.

3. Faith. This is so tied in with hope for me, it is nearly the same thing...lately it has been faith that if I keep trying, eventually I will get better as a parent. Faith in knowing that the harder something is to accomplish, the greater the payoff in the end. Faith that someday my body will look and feel familiar to me again. Faith that as long as I keep on the path and doing what I am supposed to be doing for myself spiritually by putting God before all else, everything else will fall into place (or drop out of my life). Faith in the good of other people. Faith in something far bigger than I am, that allows for family and friends to bouey me up when I need it most.

Tonight, through multiple stars aligning (AKA all my children were in bed relatively easily before 7:45pm WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, I was able to clean the house, clear my head, clean dishes, prep some food and plan for tomorrow...), I was able to achieve that sense of joy. It was given to me much like the satisfaction of a job well done, freely and without prerequisite. And it made me realize I need to do that more for my children and my husband and everyone around me.

To consciously choose and work towards having Joy each day (or night).

Trouble has a new leader in this house

Putting others first

I don't want to forget a little lesson I've  been learning at this time in my life... For most of the last year while my needs have increased substantially, I have found that when I am consistently looking outside of myself and searching out ways to serve others, my Heavenly Father has been able through others, to keep up with my needs and then some. Every day I think to myself I have soooo much stuff on my plate and it overwhelms me. So I show that to my father in heaven and he says well, here's what I need to to do for xyz... Sometimes it's within my family, sometimes it's not. But He takes such good care of me and the outpouring of blessings from the windows of heaven so there is "not room enough to receive it" is quite appropriate. I would love to say I recognize and do this every day but I am not quite there yet. But he still blesses me and I am so grateful for the knowledge that he knows me and my needs and wants me to be happy.

And sometimes I am just so so super lucky and grateful to have such amazing friends who come over and have dinner and keep me being a happy and pleasant mama.

And these thighs:....

And this face

seriously so gorgeous

And these two goofballs light up my heart on the regular.

And last but certainly not least this handsome man. I mean, come on, how did I get so lucky?!

Twins 9 month checkups and a weaning game plan!

20 solid pounds (and one ounce! Also 27.5 inches tall) for Lan and 18 lbs 8 oz (28.25 in tall) for Lo in keeping with always weighing about a pound and a half less than his big brother but still managing to be taller than him by an inch!

Keeping steady on nearly the exact same track they've been their whole lives so far....

Lo is 50% height and 35% for weight

Lan is 25% height and 70% for weight

I sure do love these boys!!!... They won't always be so easy to contain you know ;). And after a pep talk with the pediatrician I am confident in eliminating the nighttime (at least while I am sleeping 11pm-6am) feedings entirely starting tonight. There will be crying but hopefully the kids will sleep through it like they always do! Also I really don't think I can do another night like last night:

What a joke!! Not even three hours. And my "1x awake" was actually a reeeeeeally long like 2 hour stretch where the boys wouldn't stop crying and I kept trying to console. Didn't work! Cry it out all the way!! Just kidding... Sort of.

This next month I am working to feed the boys as much as they like during the day, then to try to ignore them at night (feeding wise... I'll still give snuggles and binkies and diaper changes because my babies poop twice a night sometimes!! Crazy!). Towards that 10 month mark I will try to adjust the feedings to just 5.... Early morning, post breakfast, lunch and dinner and late night. Then I'll work on eliminating one feeding per week or two till we hit the one year mark (unless they choose to be done earlier!). So that's the theory but we shall see if it works.

Also a side note? You should never ever Google mother led weaning.... There is so much shaming going on there!!! If you want to bottle feed your baby, do it! If you want to wean your baby before they are ready who cares?! I promise you that baby is not going to remember it any more than kids remember you changing their diaper as a baby.... If you're the mom, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Don't let anyone shame you or coerce you into doing anything different or you'll just resent that decision. I would be more than happy being done with nursing today, but I am happy to do it gradually because it's my last go around so why not. To each his own and I can't stand how much garbage is out there telling us what we should and should not do as mothers. Hopefully no one ever feels that way reading my blog. I only give my personal experience and if people want to take that as Advice by all means go ahead... Just know that it's not doctrine and I'm not a doctor or trainer or whatever. Just a mom and an educator and someone who is willing to share my journey probably more openly than most.

Anyway.

Happiest caged animals on the block!

The twins are 9 months now whattttttt

Snapping photos of two nine month olds? Impossible. Good grief they were crazy and all over the place and good luck to me if i ever manage to get the last three shoots in! At least they are happy!

Lo is officially on the same page as his brother when it comes to nursing now that we space it out every four hours. Guess he was just never that hungry? Lo gets excited about bananas, puffs (NOT Cheerios), jarred baby food he doesn't have to feed himself with, standing up and climbing over things and people, his binky, and of course his mama (and dad and brother and sister...). He is currently in 12 month pajamas and 18 month everything else, size 4 diapers. We put him in his first pair of shoes which was so fun!! He is always trying to see how things work, moving gears and pulling knobs,turning wheels, etc. he also has a thing for necklaces and now rings, turning them over in his hands and inspecting them. Kneeling is a close second to standing and crawling and oh yes he still loves to be held. He will sit and listen to books being read longer than his brother. He is such a jokester at the kitchen table and is always making silly sounds to make people laugh. 

Lando panda!!!! He's crazy and he screams and his thighs are just delicious and I want to eat him all day every day. He's more nonchalant as a nurser now, very "grab n go" so he can move on to the next thing. It's a good thing, just bittersweet. He gets excited for water in a sippy cup, crackers, cottage cheese, toast.... Basically any food. I joke that Lo raises his hands for you to pick him up, and Lan attempts to fly up to you... He never stops flapping when he's excited! And bouncing on his bum, something he must have borrowed from sisters book. He's still bigger but let's his little brother crawl all over him and rarely complains. He LOVES balls and is actually quite good at playing. He can't help by dance when he hears music, and he has the best downward dog of the family. Size 5 diapers and 18 month clothes but he's still a little short for them (width wise they are perfect!).

These two little boogers are still nursing around 5-7 times a day/night/24 hour period. It's exhausting but in the last month we have been working on giving them breakfast lunch and dinner with the family consistently, and getting into a better eating routine that will hopefully translate into better sleeping and the beginning of the end to nursing by the time they turn one. They are crawling all over the place and I find myself in the same spot although much busier as I was in two years ago.... I'm just trying to accept that for this season in my life there is not much at all that I am going to get done. I'm constantly going to be behind on everything and the house is going to be a wreck that's ok. We are still at two naps a day thankfully, and they are in bed roughly 7:30pm-7:30am with waking up still around 11 for a late night feeding and 4-6 for an early morning one. I know I know I'm working on it... We see the pediatrician tomorrow and hopefully we can brainstorm some ideas to safely eliminate those night feedings. Lo is the only one to break a tooth in the last month but I think Lan has two that are creeping in. we shall see! They keep me on my toes and they are so wonderfully good natured. I couldn't think of a better bunch to go out with a bang and have as my last round of babyhood with. Three more months and these guys are toddlers!! Crawling and pulling themselves up to stand but no walking yet (little d was just over 11 months and sister was 14 months). I would say I want them to crawl longer but I don't!!! Keeping floors clean is such a pain! I can't wait till they are walking and running around with their siblings (and me!) little d is already planning on teaching them soccer this summer. It's so much fun to just leave out toys and watch them explore on their own. And I will enjoy it sans fighting as long as humanly possible please!

Happy nine months to my sweet happy chunky boys!

Random bits from the weekend

What I usually wake up to:

First cavity at 5.5 years old :(

Cheeks for days 

Lunch date

Cottage cheese!

Who said we didn't have a dog?

Always good when drew comes home 

Who needs a bed?

Watching Anna anchoring!

New exhibit at the Dowling zoo....

They love me

Cute boys

The hurricane that I deal with every night.

Ball boy!

Birthday card for a friend: