crashing gpa and astrid's house for spring break 2017

Much of the last week has been a blur. After spending all evening cleaning the house last week, it feels like an endless search online for a home in Utah, closely followed by accepting showing requests and then reading feedback (our house is clean... stuff we cannot change like the size of the basement and the loft and the floor plan are supposedly why we have had about 20 showings and no offers yet). It is easy to feel lost, confused, and frustrated about this situation. Selling was supposed to be the easy part and it has proven to be extremely difficult. As I mentally brace myself for heading back home on Sunday (which means I get to actually clean the house every time we have a showing... lucky me!), I am trying to be optimistic. I wish I didn't care about when our house sold or what home we are getting next but I do because it occupies every part of my brain and I hate that. I just want to enjoy the time I have left here in Ohio and I feel robbed of that because of how much energy is wasted worrying about why the house isn't selling or why we haven't found the right house to put an offer down. Drew made a good point to me last night when he said that maybe it's because the people who are looking at our house or the homes we are looking at right now aren't the right ones to seal the deal. I can't help but agree with him that he is probably right but it is still terribly frustrating. I really thought putting it on the market a little earlier than planned would help me (yup it was a totally selfish move on my part) so we could get it over with, sort of like ripping off a band-aid. Unfortunately this does not seem to be the path we are destined to be on.

So I am trying really hard to focus on gratitude. That at least I have one kid in school (one less to make a mess!) and that we were able to hang out at my parent's house for the last week instead of leaving the house 20 times in the last 6 days (can you imagine with 4 little ones and a cat?!), I have been able to get a lot of help from my parents and brother that I usually don't get otherwise, it has been a fun little change in scenery (the kids love going on walks and collecting handfuls of branches and rocks!! we don't have as much of that in our current neighborhood!), we got to go to the temple (which is much closer here than our house), everyone has adapted really well (especially kevs! he acts like he's been here forever!), and we have been able to spend a lot of time with my parents and DK. Oh! And I got to go out with Drew a few times solo or with only one kid and got to take little d out to the movies. But, as much as I enjoy the "break" in cleaning and other responsibilities like that, I am ready to go home. I miss my home and my neighbors. I cannot even describe how painful it feels to think about leaving Clancy Way.

 ^^everyone is smiling but I didn't do a good job white balancing out the clouds!!

 I am loving all the treasures the boys are finding to give me or put in their pockets... neither of my big kids did that!!

 Crossfit workout at home with my twinners: (little A wanted to participate but there was NO WAY I was going to pick a 35 pound weight instead of a 25 one!)

 The zoo is closer to Gpa and Astrid's too

 We miss you, Colo!

 EPIC FAIL LITTLE D!

 And Lan was vomiting for two hours on weds night but then bounced back like it was no big thing... unfortunately he has yet to go #2 since tues so we are in for it...

faith precedes the miracle(s)

Every time I have recited to people my parent's story of how they met, I am met with a grave amount of skepticism. Could you really know someone for such a short period of time and then be happily married for going on 32+ years? Yes, you can. As we continue to be in this limbo where our house has no offers but also we cannot find a decent house in our price range in Utah, I need to constantly be reminded of stories like this where a great amount of faith is required in our Father's plan for us, we only need to be patient and wait for Him to reveal it to us. Their story is even more incredible to me because of my mom's part in it, where she came to the United States knowing very little English, and then in just over the first two years of marriage had 2 daughters. I mean I think back to how "difficult" my first two years of marriage were, with the growing pains and managing finances (but we had assistance), balancing full time school and part time work, but we had no kids and certainly no language/cultural barrier that my mom had to deal with. My dad certainly acted on faith to marry her, but the faith involved on my mom's part to sacrifice so much just blows me away.

So here it is, in my Dad's words:

Astrid was baptized on 4/29/78 in Coquimbo, Chile along with her sister, Cindy.  They had met the missionaries by chance a few months earlier when they were at the post office.  Cindy wanted to know why all of the Mormon boys had the same first name of "Elder".  That led to missionary discussions in the Coquimbo church building, as the girls did not want to give their address to the elders.

After a few lessons, they missed a lesson with the missionaries because Cindy was sick.  Without a phone to communicate, they were unable to tell the elders why they couldn't go to the lesson.  The elders were worried about the absence of this pair of golden investigators and, after waiting for a while, said a prayer and set out on foot to find them (in a city of over 100,000 people).  The Spirit led them several blocks from the church building, until they felt impressed to knock on a door.  When asked if Cindy and Astrid lived there, the woman who answered the door said, "No.  They live next door."  Your mom was quite surprised by the appearance of the elders and was impressed that the Spirit had guided them to within one door of their home.

Stephen was baptized on 2/5/80 in Hamilton, Ohio.  He had started receiving the discussions during the first semester of his freshman year at Miami University (October 1979) due to his completion of a religious preference card during freshman orientation the summer before.  He had jokingly checked the box that said "Morman" (due to his previous good experiences with members of the Church), and the missionaries called him up (thinking that he was a member) and (upon finding out that was not the case) began the discussions.  He was guided to the Church through interesting experiences trying out the Word of Wisdom and failing to get into a fraternity on campus.

Stephen and Astrid both felt a desire to serve a mission, and were both called to serve in the Chile Osorno Mission in mid-1982.  Astrid entered the Santiago MTC in June, and Stephen entered the Provo MTC on 7/15/82.  They met for the first time at a baptism in Temuco shortly after Stephen arrived in Chile.  He was impressed with her beauty and she was impressed with his ability to speak the language.

They were located in the same general area (Temuco - the largest city in the mission, with two zones of missionaries), but Stephen was serving in the small satellite town of Nueva Imperial and rarely visited Temuco.  His first transfer (in December 1982) was to the Cautin area of Temuco, in the same zone as Astrid.  During a zone conference, Astrid gave a talk about fasting and prayer that so impressed Stephen that he decided that he would never marry anyone less spiritual than Astrid.

In January, Astrid was transferred to Puerto Montt, and (as was the custom among missionaries), asked for a photo from Stephen before she left.  Stephen did not have any photos with him at that time, so he told her (with an air of mystery!) that he would see her again during their missions, and left it at that.

Stephen was soon transferred to be the branch president of Nueva Imperial, and served there for two months.  Those few weeks were among the most successful of his mission.  He organized the branch so that everyone had callings, visiting teaching routes were set up, fast offerings began to be collected, a seminary was started and over a dozen people were baptized.  When he learned of his transfer to be a district leader in Rio Bueno, he was very disappointed.  However, when he found that Astrid (Hermana Carrera) was also being transferred there, his attitude changed and he thought that this development might be very interesting.

When Stephen first saw Astrid at her pension (apartment within a family's home), she was walking down the stairs of the home from the second floor.  He saw (in vision) that she was wearing a white wedding dress, although that was not what she was wearing.  During their few weeks together in Rio Bueno, they spent a lot of time together and Stephen called Astrid every night to see that she had gotten home OK.  Astrid had remarkable teaching success in Rio Bueno, sometimes teaching over 30 lessons a week.

There was clearly an unspoken attraction between the two, which worried Stephen.  One day during an interview, Stephen asked Astrid if she had any feelings for her district leader.  She responded with a question of her own, asking if I asked that same question to all of the sisters that he interviewed.  He responded that he had never asked that question of anyone, and hoped to never have to ask it again.  Soon thereafter, Astrid was transferred to the mission office to serve as one of the two female assistants to the mission president.  Stephen gave her the news of that transfer (making sure that there was a desk between them) at the missionary office of the branch meetinghouse, and gave her a picture of him before she left.

Soon thereafter, Stephen accompanied his companion to the mission office in Osorno, and saw Astrid there.  She told him that her companion suspected that they had feelings for each other.  This worried Stephen, so he (breaking mission rules) wrote a short letter to Astrid, stating that he didn't care what her companion thought (or even what the mission president thought).  If anything were to happen between us, that would take place after our missions (which still had about eight months to go), and that they should concentrate on the Lord's work during that time.

Stephen gave the letter to his companion to deliver to Astrid, but he instead gave the letter to the mission president, who called Stephen in for an interview.  His first question was why he didn't care what the mission president thought!  He also expressed concern about this relationship, and chastised Stephen for sending the letter.  Stephen went back to Rio Bueno that day sorely repentant and newly committed to keeping his heart closed during the rest of his mission.

About two months later, Stephen was called as a zone leader in Osorno, which meant that he oversaw Astrid and her companion.  During the few months that they were together in Osorno, Stephen rarely spoke with Astrid.  They would shake hands at zone functions, but he would hardly look at her and would let his companion speak during zone leader interviews.  When she would call on the phone, he would have his companion speak to her.  Astrid thought that he no longer had feelings for her, so she concentrated on her mission work and had great success.  A few months later she was transferred to Coyhaique in southern Chile.

Stephen remained in Osorno until the end of his mission in December 1983.  There he found great success, leading a zone that set a mission record for baptisms in the final month of his mission.  As he was reviewing plans for his group of missionaries to return home, he was pleasantly surprised to find that Astrid was going to be returning home on the same 12 hour train ride to Santiago, which would allow them some time to talk.  However, Astrid asked for a mission extension (which meant that she served her mission longer than Stephen did!), so the return plans were changed and Stephen flew back to Santiago and the USA without seeing her.

Upon his arrival in the USA, he immediately felt like he's made a mistake by leaving in Chile the most wonderful woman that he'd ever met.  ("What have I done!")  He wrote Astrid (who was still serving her mission) a formal letter, expressing his admiration for her efforts as a missionary and encouraging her to complete a successful mission.  He then returned to Miami University to complete his education and begin to look for a wife, but was unable to find anyone with qualities that were remotely close to those that Astrid possessed.  Once her mission ended, he wrote her a ten page letter, expressing his feelings and a desire to return to Chile later that year to spend some time with her.  He waited for her reply...and waited and waited and waited.

While he was waiting (for quite a few months), he began dating a lovely young woman who lived in Cincinnati.  When Astrid's return letter finally arrived (expressing her feelings and looking forward to his return to Chile later in the year), Stephen was unsure of how to respond.  He decided to reply with an open mind and the "mail romance" began.  In August 1984, Stephen flew to Chile (ostensibly to spend some time with his former missionary companions and to visit Osorno) and was met at the airport by Astrid.  He ended up spending more time with her than with anyone else (by far!), starting with a prayer and an unexpected (by Astrid) kiss and a walk that evening.  A few days later, he pondered their relationship during his train ride to Osorno as he wrote in his journal that evening (8/20/84).  He prayed for enlightenment and felt impressed to ask Astrid to marry him.  There were so many potential obstacles to their relationship, so he felt confident that if it were not to be the Lord's will, He would put something in the way to prevent their marriage.

Upon his return to Santiago, Stephen and Astrid went to Viña del Mar to visit with the family of Ingrid (Astrid's sister) for a few days.  The first evening (8/23/84, which was quite chilly, as August is winter in Chile), he took Astrid for a walk on the beach of the Pacific Ocean.  As they walked, he told her that he had always hoped that he would one day find a woman towards whom he would feel the perfect love which casts out all fear (as expressed in 1 Peter 4:18).  He further stated that he did not at that time feel such "perfect love" towards Astrid, then paused and told her that he felt confident that he would one day be able to feel such perfect love towards her more than towards any other woman in the world, and asked her to marry him.  This was not a hard question to answer for Astrid, as it had been revealed to her in the temple several months earlier that she would be Stephen's wife.  She just needed to give him time to arrive at that same conclusion.

They returned to Santiago the next day, got wedding reception pictures and then Stephen flew back to the USA.  They would write and phone often during the next few months.  Stephen's final semester at Miami was a busy one, as he studied for and took the CPA exam, interviewed for and got a job working at Arthur Andersen in Pittsburgh and graduated from college on 12/21/84.

On 12/29/84 Stephen arrived back in Chile, and on 12/31/84 Astrid and Stephen were married in a civil ceremony in Santiago, Chile.  Although married in the eyes of the world, they did not consider this marriage to be a valid one.  They continued to live apart until the day of their temple sealing ceremony in the Santiago Temple on 1/8/85 (which they recognize as their wedding anniversary).

Following a brief and wonderful honeymoon in Viña del Mar, Chile, they left Chile on 1/11/84 on a flight to Florida, where they stayed with Stephen's maternal grandparents (Alfred and Edna Edwards) for a few days in Holiday before flying to Pittsburgh on 1/15/85 to begin their new lives together.  They lived with Stephen's parents at their home for the first 18 months of our marriage before moving to their first apartment in Ben Avon, PA (335 Breading Avenue).

day 4 on the market

Our first full day of (6) showings has come and gone, with one outright rejection and no offers. It was pretty initially devastating for me, who has been working on this house for the last 6 months especially, because I started second guessing myself...was my paint job not good enough? Did they get distracted by all the handprint stains all over our white couches? Today I felt like I was on pins and needles, constantly checking my phone, waiting for something to come through.

And then I thought back to 2013. I remembered seeing our current house that was originally listed at 10k over what we considered to be the top of our price range back in September, and by some miracle we didn't find it till it fell into our price range right before we came out to house hunt. We put in what we thought was a fair offer and they countered, still too high. So we placed a final offer and were planning on walking away. I am relieved to say that they accepted it, and we absolutely ended up where we needed to be.

I am so glad I was reminded of that today. It has been easy to get caught up in "how much money can we possibly make from this house?" (thank you, realtor) and not think about how we really do want and need to make sure this home goes to the right family. And it will. We will pray them into it! I just hope it's sooner than later, because I really thought this selling buisness was going to be the easy part... finding a good house in Utah that isn't snatched up within 24 hours is seeming like it's going to be quite a feat.

I am blessed to have my parents close by. I have no idea how I would do this without them. Wait, I do know... I would move us into a hotel room every weekend till the house sold. This way is definitely more fun and hopefully I can just not think too much about Ruth's Plan and remember there is a bigger plan out there, and I need to be patient and wait and see what happens.

and in the meantime, enjoy my time (that doesn't invovle cleaning!) with Mr. D, little d, and these crazies:

all the work we put into a 16 year old house (that we only owned for 3.5 years!)

There has been SO MUCH work that went into this house over the course of the last 6 months that I felt the need to make sure it was documented with these gorgeous pictures taken from our realtor's professional photographer. After spending the last few months rolling our eyes at iphone real estate photos the usually ended up showing the person in a mirror at some point, I felt confident that spending the money on this realtor who promised us good pics (and a LOT of good advice!) was a good choice. I was blown away at the pictures and we really lucked out with the weather... a perfect sunny afternoon that showcased the best lighting our house has to offer!

We replaced the ceiling fan in our master two summers ago, when the original stopped working. To clarify, the house was built in 2001, and we have only lived here since 2013, but it somehow decided to completely fall apart on us over the course of the last 2 years. So yes... updates galore (even if they were done begrudgingly!). There is a lot of oak-ish looking faux wood around our house which definitely dates it to the late 90's but I feel like the little touches that we managed since moving in helped update it a few years. So yes, that beautiful black ceiling fan... I am in love with it. It is simple and elegant and I think it just compliments that room so well! The curtains were original to the house (or at least the last owner) but I loved throwing off the down comforter's navy cover last minute to go for the white and spotlight the gorgeous temple quilt Concessa made for our wedding! I need to start commissioning quilts from her, or maybe just buying some of the ones she has already made. They are just so gorgeous and I'm excited to have two of them showcased in our house.

 the view from the loft (where you can see that we got rid of a LOT of stuff... furniture, toys all went to the playroom, I used to have a craft table in the corner (that basically went completely unused for the last 6 months). When we moved in here I was obsessed with filling the space, and now... I'm equally obsessed with clearing it out! A lot can change when you are looking to sell and while I don't plan on keeping my house like this forever (it only lasted a few seconds after the kids got home to trash it), it definitely opened my eyes to how awesome minimalist living is!

 The playroom! The realtor helped me realize that you don't actually need stuff on every wall. Just lots of Moana! haha

 Most of my work in the great room and the playroom has been patchwork: filling holes, cleaning and then painting over them. Also at least a dozen magic erasers were used on my walls in the last week and a half alone. Those thing work literal magic!

 The boys room (with the second of Concessa's quilts)... I finally agreed, thanks to a friend Michele telling me I needed to (sometimes it takes the right person to convince you of a good idea that's been brought up a lot of times!) put the doors back on the closet for the first time since we moved in. That required moving the dresser that played as a changing table into A's room, but it makes the room seem much more complete. Currently we had to move the brown crib (Lan's) perpendicular to Lo's since he can't stop messing with the doors. Heaven help me when they start crawling out of those cribs consistently. I should note that my inlaws came in like month 7 of my pregnancy when I decided on a whim to paint it an they did it beautifully!

 Three beds in that room. If that's not magic, I don't know what is!

 I also changed out the toilet seats... the pre-existing ones were made of faux wood painted white, which left brown streaks once the paint started wearing off (lovely, right?). My inlaws replaced the one downstairs and I liked it so much I replaced the other two myself, with those amazing lids that close slowly (and don't pinch fingers!!). I also got those amazing grey towels at costco and matching floor rug that look much better than our beach towels (which we love! but don't look so fancy) and sad rugs that we bought really cheap at walmart when we moved in.

 A's room... it feels like a lifetime ago that little d and I painted that superhero canvas! Of course now I look at it and I cannot believe that I mixed DC and Marvel characters together like that, but well, you live and you learn. I enjoyed it so much I doubt it will be the last one I paint. Also notice the boy's dresser (with the dolls I commissioned kimmie to make for A a few christmases back!)

 I made those TMNT curtains and some matching TMNT canvases but we took down the canvases because my mom said it made the room look bigger...she was right as always!

 Oh. This bathroom. It held my favorite photos in the whole house (Drew shaving his face with little d at the sinks and Little a sitting next to me while I did my mascara) and that tub was the bane of my existence the last few weeks. Our water had turned the tub nearly brown from whatever was in it, and I bleached that sucker it felt like every day for two weeks until I finally got the grout to look white and not brown or off white. Our shower curtain was suffering the same fate so I bought a new one last month.

 Another view of our Master bedroom... the closet only has clothes hanging in it! Nothing above or below which does look awesome and super clean. I love using that magnet board to post pictures our kids do or photos but that was obviously not super appropriate for others to look at. A LOT of holes patched up and I had to attempt to color match these walls (and the playroom) with a big thing of paint that will now sit in the garage mostly full for the next occupants.

 Ah, the dreaded disgusting red bathroom... we kept the red theme, but boy was that wallpaper stripping and cleaning the walls and then painting them with the heaviest duty of paint and primer (two coats!!!) SO. MUCH. WORK.

 The laundry room I have done nothing to. I had big plans to do at least one wall with a pop of color but... well, you see all the diapers stashed there and I think people will understand why it is still white and boring (but now a blank canvas for the next owners!! lucky!!!)

 Oh, this kitchen. We started out living here with some major water damage. The home warranty covered fixing the kitchen faucet (which never actually got fixed and still leaked so I eventually put in a new faucet myself), but not any of the extensive water damage that obviously started way before we got there. I had to tear out the entire backsplash our first summer because it was rotting out and collecting flies which was driving me nuts! I attempted to order the same backsplash but ended up getting one that was 1) too long and 2) not the right color. We still tried to make it work... and it warped on us. Horribly. So after a year and a half of agonizing and looking at a nasty moldy wall, I found these cute stickers and went to town on that wall! I love the way it looks and no one ever knows they are stickers unless I point them out as such. Our garbage disposal crapped out around the same time, so we got that replaced professionally. The curtains which came with the house got so nasty looking (they were off white) and covered in black cat hair that I eventually put it in the wash... and it shrunk. So I used the curtains we had in the babies room (to cover the closet hole) and loved how they turned out. They do not block out sun very well but that just allows for more natural lighting all day long! Then of course I finally got that table (and then covered it in protective stuff to keep the black stain from getting everywhere) and we replaced the dishwasher, microwave, oven (after fixing it and thinking I saved myself from prematurely getting a new one!) and fridge (all of which were white and as far as we know, original to the house). Plus the new cute (grown up!!) trashcan and we have finally "kid proofed" our kitchen, AKA all the things their hands will touch are fingerprint friendly, so very little shows! And I definitely need to mention my inlaws paint job... the wall to your right was BRIGHT RED (like that awful bathroom) and poorly painted. My inlaws did this in a few hours (with no tape!!) and all I had to do was touch it up a bit (and then use some Lift Off to get the red paint that made it where it wasn't supposed to be, like on cabinets!) as well as get some ceiling paint to cover up, again, more red paint on the ceiling. Word to the wise: If you're going to go for a bold color choice, make sure it is 1) a well done paint job (no streaks!!! No room to be sloppy!), and 2) a color you are in love with and actually makes your house look better. For the record, we will NEVER be painting ANYTHING red, EVER. Or wallpapering, for that matter.

 I love you, little kitchen! It should also be noted that my garage was FILLED, as was my car, with all the stuff that is usually on the "command center" to your left. Also we got a new garage door opener that Drew installed with the help of our amazing neighbor, who also assisted in the sump pump and some drainage/water damage issues on the side of our house. And I ended up sealing the right side of our garage after a winter of getting water damage through the walls of the basement, which is where the water seemed to drain once the snow/ice melted off the car in the garage.

 So clean! And the basement (which they did not photograph, thank goodness), has nothing in it (it is quite small and unfinished and about 80% crawlspace) has of course the brand new (as of last summer, or was that two summers ago?) hot water heater, air conditioner, furnace, and sump pump.

 The things on the mantle are not ours (but aren't they gorgeous?!), but Drew did do his part and after de-crusting off all the salt from the water damage in the basement, he replaced the faux wood lining to the floor of our fireplace (that we have yet to use even once!) that the kids had totally wrecked.

 And the siding piece we had to replace a few years ago after some crazy windstorms. And those bushes that we literally did not touch for 3.5 years, until I took a hacking at them last weekend (which turned out pretty well if I do say so myself!). We fought that lawn and its crazy weeds for two summers then finally conceded to use a lawn service last year (best investment ever!!!!). Needless to say, we are praying we sell quickly for a lot of reasons, but especially before those pesky weeds start popping up!

 Again, not my painting (but I do love it!!) but the lamps are mine, and while the couches look nice in pictures they are destroyed from the last 5 years of use so they will not be coming with us to Utah. Neither will that TV stand since I broke it today (gah!) but I will miss this perfect and amazing natural lighting like crazy. 3 of my 4 children learned to walk on those faux wood laminate floors! (barefoot of course!)

 I love my house. I will miss it dearly, as it will always be our first home with all the best memories of young motherhood and childhood. And I will keep hoping and praying that the absolute best family moves in to replace us because our lovely little house, and our incredible neighbors deserve that much.

I would be remiss to forget the work on the exterior... the white sidewalk on the left of the picture was a source of hatred on my part from the getgo (I tripped on it walking back from our first tour of the house!). Genoa told us we had to pay to redo it, so we did and immediately were thrilled with our decision. I also convinced Drew to get our driveway sealcoated last spring, which was smart since it looks so much better than it would otherwise. And our neighbors to the right did a REALLY nice job on their fence (which appeared to be falling into our backyard for much of the last 3 years!), and last summer they got it patched up and repainted and it looks really really nice. Last fall we (as well as much of our street) got new roofs on our homes as well! Oh, I also (on the left of the house) had to clean up a project Drew worked on with J, where they dug up a ton of ground next to our house to find the piping that was causing the water damage to our basement (you know, the ONLY thing we had the previous owners look into and get fixed... which obviously didn't do the trick, whatever they did!). Drew replaced the pipe last fall, and then right before it was about start snowing, I managed to get the dirt back where it belonged but it looked terrible. A few weeks ago I was able to move the stones back where they belonged and get a little extra mulch we had spread around and it looks MUCH better (and less crazy!)

I think that's about it! So when you hear that we are looking to buy as close to a new house as possible in Utah, don't be too surprised! This little home (which we purposefully got so that we would NOT have a fixer upper!) has been a LOT of work! Don't get me wrong, she was worth it! But I wish we could have enjoyed the fruits of our labor a few years longer....