trying to limit myself to two packs a day

As in, I only allow myself to pack up two boxes or bins a day. And then I have to stop and enjoy my life a little. Easier said than done!

Since we found out our home is set to be done sooner than we expected, my mind has been in a tailspin. I have at any given time 50 different things I am trying to remember and I am trying really really hard to take deep breaths, write stuff down, and try not to completely throw myself in a panic. Like how can I have so many bins of stuff in the garage (I added two yesterday), have thrown away or donated multiple trash bags of things and still have so much STUFF all over my house?! I may never know. So to reset my focus and not make it all about moving for the next month, I'm going to think about 5 things that don't have to do with moving. Or at least try.

1. It drives me to madness when my kids steal my phone. But then I get pictures they take of themselves or each other and all is forgiven! They are getting to be such good little photographers.

 2. Lan is getting curly hair. I think his hair will be most similar to mine than all the other kids because it seems a bit more coarse and certainly thicker. I have only given the twins two hair cuts, one right around when they turned one year old and one around Christmas time just 4 months ago. I mostly didn't want it growing in unevenly (mullet style like I had to tolerate with little A for YEARS) so I buzzed it at 1" but I think I will let them grow it out this summer and see how they look.

 3. Yesterday morning I woke up (two days after my 50 pistols at crossfit, the day after Little A convinced me to do an at home workout tabata) and I felt PAIN in my legs like after a marathon. The 48 hours prior had just been aching soreness but I knew what I had to do, and so I held my breath and made for the first ice bath in a really long time. 10 minutes made a huge difference and I could function even with sore quads. I keep moving as much as possible, lots of walking but the soreness was there to stay. I definitely need to do more stretching. I'm planning on being back at the gym this morning, so hopefully my legs don't hate me all weekend. But even if they do they have two days to recover so they'll get over it.

 4. I have always been a mega HATER of all imitation pancake syrups....why mess with anything less than pure maple syrup goodness? I don't want HFCS laced in my pancakes! But Drew is not a fan of the "real" thing so I have this inner turmoil battle as I look through the ingredients at the store of all the imitations and try not to think about how I am poisoning my family. Well, one of the things they recommended for this CSE Challenge was this syrup which I was terrified to try! How can something that is made to taste like real syrup be CALORIE FREE?! But it is made with vanilla and watered down maple syrup and if you must know both Drew and I LOVED it! It tasted just like the real thing, no weird aftertaste or anything. It was just good! I am so happy I discovered it and now it is a new family pantry staple.

 5. True confession: In my attempt to downsize and get rid of everything that makes me miserable I threw out ALL of our pans. (!!) I know. But they were hand me downs from a friend and whatever the nonstick solution that was on there had long since been done away with... my every morning eggs took two days to take off and it was just the worst. So I gave in to my infomercial intuition and went for the Copper Skillet. I haven't used any spray on it and so far have made perfect scrambled eggs many times over as well as pancakes. I couldn't be happier! Now fingers crossed it lasts....

 and going back to the CSE challenge, I have NOT been following it very well at ALL... I should have known how crazy things would be getting but it has been a really good basis for our meals. I grocery shopped a week ago and it looks like I will be able to stretch out the week 1 meals to last us two weeks.. and then it will be time to use up all the stuff we have in our kitchen instead of buying new stuff! At least this challenge has helped me rethink my meals and not lean so much on what the kids want to eat (Even though its sooo much easier because more of it gets eaten!!) so here's to just saying "no!" to chicken nuggets for dinner even though it would be the easier thing to do. I can do hard(ish) things! I say only because these Jimmy Dean Turkey sausage breakfast sandwiches have been my lifesaver the last few weeks! (also that Halo Top Chocolate Almond was just about my favorite part of the evening where I played single parent to the littlest littles while Drew took little d to a volleyball game and the babies decided to terrorize everyone and everything in our house. It seriously looks like a hurricane up in here. And that's saying something because since we stopped showing house it hasn't ever been clean like at ALL because I just do not care enough. Not worth the hassle. But good to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you better believe there will be just as much purging when we move in as there is as we get ready to move out.

we move a month from today and I joined the #CSEchallenge

May 27 is the official move out date. I still cannot believe it is coming up so soon. Just about everything that can be packed away, is. And everything else... will have to wait till that weekend.

My "hatred of making food" funk is officially over! I know it's not great timing since I SHOULD be trying to just eat up all the stuff we have so we don't have to toss or move it but I. Just. Can't. Mentally I am ready for an easy-ish challenge when it comes to eating so when I saw this I knew it was meant to be. I got my cookbook (hard copy, because I am old school like that) late, so I started today. I love that I don't have to calculate calories or fat or anything... I just make the food and eat it and the dinner plans make enough for "8" which means enough for everyone for dinner and then I have enough for lunch the next day (which is part of the plan). I love that it gives you ideas of what to prep for two big "prep nights" a week, which is ideal for me, and I really only have to make one thing a day (dinner). The snacks have been easy enough to make that I make with the kids and they love sharing it with me.

I finally stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time and was not terribly surprised at the number. At 2 years postpartum, I weigh just about as much as I did at 6 weeks postpartum with the twins. True story. Obviously, the makeup of my body is completely different now than it was then, but inside it feels the same--it feels like neglect. I have been neglecting too many aspects of my life, and I am ready to take back that control in any way that I can. I don't know how well I will be able to manage the Clean Simple Eats challenge for a full 40 days (since we will be moving across country with all our stuff somewhere in the midst of that), but having a new arsenal of foods that I love to make and enjoy eating and are good for me is setting me up for future success regardless of how well I am able to abide by a meal plan. And I can certainly do it for the next 30! I did my first "at home" workout they provided and I actually LOVED it... my hands have been healing since my last crossfit visit earlier this week, and I will probably be back tomorrow but it is so nice to have an option in case I can't make it at 6am.

I have a sinkful of dirty dishes, an entire evening was spent prepping instead of relaxing with Drew, but I feel really really good about everything. That peace I was talking about in the last post? A lot of it came along with this plan, and I am thrilled that I stumbled upon it because it was literally an answer to some serious prayer. Fiesta Lime chicken tacos on the menu for tomorrow night and for the first time in a long time, I am not worrying about if my kids or husband likes what I am making them.

 and HBD little Kevs! 9 years old today and I still cannot believe how big a part he has played in our lives for most of our marriage! We have known him longer than any of our kids and while we have had our ups and downs, the last year has been on the up and up with him as we continue to love him and count our blessings for such a patient, affectionate, loving cat.