The day I finally realized that 32 is much better than 22

23 (gosh was I ever that young?!)
24 and this one too (newly pregnant, working full time and SO exhausted)
25 (working full time and juggling new-motherhood)
26 years old (where Drew gifted me entry to the Boston Marathon! Feels like another lifetime ago!)
My 27th birthday (last one as a mother of one)
28 where we spent the day finishing the drive (and the move) to Ohio
29 (pregnant with the twins and days from the gender reveal, Drew got me this Chromebook so I could get back into blogging not on my phone! ha!)
30 (had Drew take the day off so I could get a break from those 4 crazy kids of mine!) where I also got a glorified birthday weekend with my sisters and a very special horseshoe
Memorable birthdays recap I typed up in 2015
31 (last year, which honestly just not being pregnant or nursing and having the flexibility to do whatever I wanted was amazing! Also my mom watched the kids so for the second year in a row we did sushi for my birthday)

While I wasn't actually blogging at 22, I can remember thinking that I needed other people to make my birthday great. Over the last decade I have obviously turned that belief over into taking responsibility by doing whatever I wanted to make my birthday awesome, and in this case, my birthday and the week leading up to it.

Things I wanted: (and were completed to my satisfaction)
-To see the new Thor movie with Drew
-To see the new Justice League movie with Sarah
-Shopping date with Sarah
-Graeter's instead of cake for my birthday
-3rd year in a row SUSHI
-To get my laundry (mostly) done and put away
-To clean my kitchen (like 75% of it)
-To get my engagement ring fixed (I get it back on Saturday!!)
-Drew took the day off work
-I got to take Drew's 6am workout time at Fieldhouse Fitness
-I got to take a REAL shower. Like not a usual shower where I run in and out in 5 minutes but I got to shampoo AND condition. And shave my legs for the first time in forever...TMI?
-I got to straighten my hair. I initially wasn't going to but then I just decided, why not? It's my birthday and it's not usual for me to have the time to do it during the week!
-I decided to feel no guilt about anything today. It felt soo good!
-I got a massage with some midsection physical therapy. Something I have been doing for a few weeks but I wanted to make sure I got one in on my birthday!
-Stay home on my birthday. There was an art education thing I wanted to go to, and also a $100 art sale I wanted desperately to attend, but ultimately I felt like I had a lot of opportunities to go out in the last week and just wanted to hang out at home, low-key with the kids and Drew.

Awesome things that happened/I received unexpectedly:
New shoes to replace the broken ones................................Sushi date was childless thanks to inlaws!

 little girls get together earlier in the week with Michelle and the girls... finally got our lamppost working! ( I say like I had anything to do with it! Also the trailer that our neighbor had always parked right behind where I back up out of the driveway was mysteriously and finally moved!)

 Big kids had random playdates which meant I could do a little TV catchup with Drew while the twins were napping in the middle of the day!

 Thanks to Smith's, this may be my new birthday tradition. The kids loved it too!

 gifts from Kathryn!  A book and this little trinket that the kids fought over all night! ;)

clothes and handwashing gloves (with diamonds!) from my parents, in a totally crushed box!

 balloons and pumpkin chocolate chip bread from my cute neighbors (the kids had wayyy to much fun with the balloons!)

treats from family and friends

full disclosure: this was my favorite gift this year. Little d asked what I wanted and I told him I would love a drawing and boy did he deliver. We ended the night with HIM reading to ME from "Where the Sidewalk Ends." He truly is a part of my heart.

 and of course he coached Lo to make something for me too (he outlined a person I think and then Lo colored it in?), unfortunately for him, Lan just eats writing utensils and Little A doesn't follow orders.

 Sarah gave me one of the best gifts too though, she stopped by the store to get my beloved ice cream and even picked up eggs and milk (because I am THAT LAZY of a mom that I didn't want to do groceries today!) and flowers to boot. Drew got me Wonder Woman (!!) and I can't wait to start our superhero movie collection.

 And finally, I gave myself the best gift I could give myself... a mostly clean kitchen.

Life parenting four kids is always crazy/chaotic and most of the time wonderful and sometimes a little terrible. But these little people make my life and spending time with them today (just like I do every day) really makes me appreciate what my mom did for me. She sacrificed so much for me and my siblings and sometimes I feel guilty when I think about diverging from what she and my mother in law did, which was to be a stay at home mom. There is always something to do, someone to care for, clothes to be washed or something to be cleaned or meals to be prepped. But as much as I have enjoyed that life and been so lucky to enjoy it for as long as I have, I know that it will not last forever. So, now with the nursing and the pregnancies fading in the distance, it is becoming clearer to me that these last couple years at home with my kids will continue to be some of the most precious to me. And I feel so terribly grateful that I am finally able to enjoy them after all those years of being tired, sick, etc. I got to color in little notebooks I bought years ago with my littles. I got to with with my big kid. I got to build towers with my twins. I got to relax and enjoy myself watching shows with Drew. I got to go out and run some errands by myself. I really hit the holy trifecta of being able to balance a good birthday with others, my family and myself and for that I feel incredibly grateful.

I have a clearer vision of who I am and what I need to do at 32 than I did at 22. I know what I want to do with my life (work on my art the next few years then a Masters once the kids are in school and then back to teaching!). I know the kind of mom and parent I want to be (more patient, kinder, a good example of Christlike behavior). I know the kind of wife I want to be. I am more confident in my choices and in the direction I feel like my life is being guided in. Sometimes it is hard, being so far away from my parents and my sister Anna. Not knowing what the future holds. But when I focus on the things I have to be grateful for, like living close to Sarah and my brothers/sisters in law, the health of my kids and Drew and I, the endless possibilities with technology, I have every reason to feel joy.

Life is good. Tomorrow marks 6 months from when we moved into our home in Utah. It has been a rocky 6 months, a roller coaster of emotions and adjustments, but for the moment we are in a good place and I hope to continue to strengthen and love my family through this good time so that we are better able to weather any unseen rocky waves that lie ahead.

I'm sounding like a wise old sage now, aren't I? I love being 32.

grateful moments in november

It is fitting that as I look over that last month of photos I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I try to live my life as grateful as possible for all I have been given but days like today make it especially easy to give thanks.

For cute little babies that insist they are big boys who want "all dah superheroes" for "my cwismas"

 actual big boys who can't get enough of Lego-ing (or reading Diary of a Whimpy kid, as of late)

 a strong daughter that wants to be a superhero

 a cat that now rarely (knock on wood) pukes in the house.

 meal prepping and the CSE cookbooks that have become the backbone to how I cook/eat

 Fun times at the dino museum with my littlests

 a very artisticly inclined little boy

 flu shots

 more art with this boy..."snakes" are my favorite!

 Little A's drawings of Kevs and herself

 basketball time with these goobers

 superhero loving little hearts

 chocolate bunnies!

 moments like this at granny's (right before they all tried to jump in!)

 sleeping kids

 this gorgeous babe of a daughter!

 opportunities for sharing goodness

 sculpture gardens (it is SO hard not to touch ALL the art in a museum!) and the lovely autumn we have had... tank tops and all!

 learning and creating together...

 living close enough to visit with Granny

 This handsome boy!! (all the heart eyes!)

 awesome neighbors and friends

 brand new house with warrantied everything! (it is fixed and didn't cost us a penny!)

 This rec center

 those cheeks! Those eyes! Those eyelashes! Those chubby fingers!! That Panda!

 Works of art like this that help me realize why I love art so much!

 the first day (last week) of littlest littles dressing themselves (or at least picking out their own clothes!)

 all the love between my middle littles

 THIS.

 sweet little sassypants over here who has her tantrums but balances them out with a whole lot of sugar!

 These two.

 family (and neighbor) movie night

 more artmaking from this one... (while Lan tries to eat the little things of watercolor)

 Where do they even get these ideas?!

 And of course, Drew, who through all the craziness of the last year has encouraged me and believed in me in my pursuit of bettering myself in motherhood, and most recently, in working towards a career. I am a very blessed girl.