Baby B/Twin #2/Bug/Our Bonus Baby/Littlest Lo at 2 years old

Oh! My little baby-est boy is two years old...granted he is only by definition baby by a few minutes but he will forever be the family baby in my book (although most days he acts like he's the oldest!). At only 25 pounds and change, he is the smallest weight-wise in the family but in a family of "5%-ils" children, he is the giant, towering in at 40%ile at almost 34 inches.

 There is no "making" this kid do anything. Lo does what he wants to do when he wants to do it, end of story. He is stubborn and headstrong, more so than any of my other kids even though they are all at least a little bit like that. He is SO independent. Any of my kids, I could walk away and say "BAIIIIII" and they would come running, screaming to catch up with me. Not Lo. He will give you a smile and watch you walk away. He knows you're not going anywhere. Too smart for his own good, I know. He is my little mosey-er. When we go for walks, the other three are running ahead and Lo is walking, meandering is more like it, at his own pace. I usually have to pick him up and carry him (crying, screaming the whole way) or get everyone else to slow down a bit. He eats his food the same way... slow and deliberate (as opposed to Panda, shoveling food in faster than he can chew) and he is still in love with the fruits and veggies, mostly the former.

 I swear all my pictures of his cute face are blurry... it is not without trying! He just never stays still. Except at night when over the last year he has gone from the kid who would wake at the sound of a feather falling to being the only kid who has not consistently woken me up in the middle of the night, of which I cannot be more grateful for.

Lo does not like: to be touched/hugged/kissed/held when he doesn't instigate it, to do anything he didn't first have the idea to do, eating meat, going to bed, sitting next to Lan (because Lan typically pulls on his hair or clothing), having someone else brush his teeth, letting anyone look into his mouth or clean his face, when I put him down when he wants to be held, saying his name (at this point you ask him his name and either Lan will say GOGO or Lo will say yan-yun)

 Lo does LOVE: our neighbors and all of d's and a's friends, the cat, all dogs, all our immediate and extended family members, my phone, Endless Alphabet (HE. IS. SO. GOOD!), muffins, cookies, Ohio State, the zoo, the farm, animals, helping mommy, when I hold him IF he asks for it, trampoline, nursery, snacks, smoothies, strawberries/any berries, balloons, bubbles, Elsa, bed jumping/climbing, Coco/BossBaby previews, all the superheroes but especially spiderman and Iron Man, Minions, Despicable Me, any screen he can get his hands on, and to be honest a lot of the things that Lan is into right now. Stickers, balls (he can throw right and lefty), shooting basketballs with crazy good form, flowers, baths, helping me change Lan's diaper, "HUGANKISSLAN" before bedtime/naps, etc.

 "Me walk" "Me do it" "Me hold" are some of his most used phrases.

 Most of the photos of him I have taken are like this because he is protesting me using my phone instead of giving it to him. Both babies ADORE uncle DK (who took the below snap) and are getting better about warming up to people instead of freaking out when left with others. (ahem nursery)

 It is so funny to me that he has never really allowed his teeth to show when he smiles ever since he was a baby and had no teeth! For his bday Anna brought him stickers and he immediately covers his hands and then feet in them. So classy.

 I love that he has this lovely long face. I keep saying it but Lo is my most unique baby. Still chubby in his own way but also so long and slender.

 Poor kid has had pinkeye twice in the last year. And only shared it with Lan once in that time. He loves to say spiderman, ironman like "I-man" and supoerman gets called "SOUP" which is my personal favorite. He is also a fan of hawkeye and hulk and can act out what each superhero does which is so adorable. Lo is just a bit skinny gangley ball of awkward adorable.

 His speech is even drawn out.... I HO TAAAAT (I hold cat). everyone interchangeably calls Kevs CAT, DOO DOO, or whatever they feel like calling him because he is the best cat ever.

 We never did bottles with the twins but Lo has been the most persistent in wanting to do away with his "baby" waterbottle and sippy, he would rather have a cup!

Lo love birds, his swaddle blankets, and stinky feet.

Also, pockets, hands on hips and 

WALKING BY HIMSELF ALL THE TIME.

It is a really good test of my patience and also time management because I have to figure out how long it could possibly take, multiply it by 23, and that's how long it will take us to get somewhere when I let him do his own thing. But then he is happy so it's worth it.

 He still sleeps with a blanket or the tiger pulled over his face at night and for naps.

 Gosh he's really the most incredible beautiful little guy! It certainly helps to have one child who is not consistently running away from me (ahem Lan...) and I am so happy he is ours. I cannot stop gushing when I see him smile like that... it's not a smile I capture often but it is one we see fleetingly, which is still adorable. I love our littlest and hope he knows how much he is loved and adored and everyone who sees that sweet face and hears that little voice is captivated by him! He certainly marches to the beat of his own drum, which while it is challenging right now, will serve him wonderfully in years to come, I am sure of it! Happiest of birthdays, my littlest boy! I am so grateful that you were sent to us with your big brother because our family would not be nearly as happy or complete without you!!

zootrip in the middle of an epic thunderstorm to see some polar bear twins

Having grown up in Columbus I was always aware that our Zoo was pretty awesome but it took moving out to Utah and visiting a couple zoos around the country to truly realize what a gem this Zoo really is. We have had a zoo pass for the last two years, and had the privilege of watching Nora grow up and finally getting to see the polar bear twins in person after watching so many videos was the highlight of our 4th zoo trip this week...

(hey I had to make up for only going once since zoolights in december!)  

It was pouring rain and lightning and thunderstorms the entire time but we had a great time! This was right before we got to the car after 90 minutes at the zoo.

 nobody was there which meant we had free reign to follow around those cute polar bear twins and their mama (Nora's mom!).

 Nora hiding her fish she was eating from her twins... she did not want to share! We loved hearing from the zoo experts about how the twins are starting to wean, and how Aurora and Anana who are sisters and gave birth within days of each other were making little noises to each other across the way (because they miss each other!!) since even though they hang out on the regular before babies, after they had their babies they have had to be separated. I love our zoo and I can't wait to keep up (virtually) with the three little polar bear cubs over the next year or so till they get sent to other zoos since they have an awesome youtube channel.

 my twins were fighting over the stroller, polar bear twins in the background fighting over.... nope, just fighting.

 We were really sad to hear that Nanuq (the dad of Nora and her siblings and cousin) passed away a few days ago but he was almsot 30 (!!!) so that's ancient. And we did get to see him over the winter while the females were denning.

 stopped in to see the cows, goats, pigs and a few other little creatures in the barn (where everyone was hiding from the rain, as I am sure they did in the aquarium and reptile place as well but we never made it there!)

 it was a short visit but we were soaked to the bone and ready to go home and get some lunch. It was not without whining or complaining but everyone had a good time (at one point or another in the trip!). It is the start of our goodbyes, and this one was sad because I love the zoo dearly! It will probably be awhile till we are back again but whenever we make it back here you better believe we will make the effort!

11 years of marriage.

Fortunately or unfortunately my blog (and therefore my memory) only go back to April 2008. But every year on our anniversary I like remembering what we have done for our anniversaries and how much changes year to year.

April 28 2006 we got married... it was a friday early afternoon (Drew went golfing that morning with our dads and his brother), we had a reception a few weeks before with our friends in Utah, then we got married April 28, honeymooned in Florida (Red Sox Game and Epcot) and came back to Boston to spend a summer there after our 3rd reception, Drew interning at the Red Sox while I worked at a "color me mine" store and babysat to make some extra cash. We drove back to Utah after the summer in our (new to us) car from the Dowlings to start prepping our portfolios/resumes to apply to our respective programs at BYU.

(year 1) April 28 2007 I had drew go on some crazy scavenger hunt that bombed miserably and took way too long to plan. Never again. We celebrated getting into our programs, packed away all our stuff (I had to get a professional massage after all the packing, it was so exhausting! ha!) and made the drive back out to Boston from Utah... Drew had an internship for school through his dad's TV station and I had a lot of babysitting lined up ($$$). One of our best road trips.

(year 2) April 28, 2008. I had started my blog a few days prior for a spring term class (my first and only spring term), which was a good thing because Kevin was born the day before our anniversary! Drew had just graduated BYU and was job hunting and I was finishing up my last year in school. Most of that day was spent oohing and aahing over Lucy (Kevin's mom) and her kittens!

(year 3) April 28, 2009 I had just graduated and Drew had finished his first year working at BYU Athletics. We were anxious to leave Provo but just a few weeks later I got a teaching job in Pleasant Grove so Drew (reluctantly) allowed us to stay for two more years! Which is a good thing because....

(year 4) April 28, 2010 I was pregnant with little d! When I found out one of my benefits while teaching was that I could have a baby and only pay $200 I was on board! Just kidding.... that was only part of the reason! My parents came out for a THIRD year of graduation ceremonies (they came the previous two) for Anna's graduation, and shortly after, Anna moved in with us in our little two bedroom in PG for a few months!

(year 5) April 28, 2011 (I was in a collage phase, so enjoy those amazing collages that take you from engagement to 5 years!) Sarah was going to school at BYU and therefore able to babysit so Drew and I could go mini golfing for our anniversary. It was super low key but I was going through a difficult time at work (last 6-8 weeks of the school year will do that!) and in the middle of making the decision to quit so I didn't have time to plan anything fun. A few months later we would make the decision to move out of Utah to Ohio.

(year 6) April 28. 2012 we were living in my inlaws basement, just like we were for our first two years, but this time with the Kevs and Little d. I was fresh off my marathon, in amazing shape and ready to get pregnant with #2. Drew had a new job that involved a lot of travel with a company called Dealersocket and all I wanted for the next year was a new baby and to not be mooching off my inlaws. But they were great and watched little d so we could have a fancy dinner out at a nice restaurant.

(year 7) April 28, 2013 I had just had Little A a few weeks prior and was still recovering from that trauma. My mom and sister had come into town to help and left the day before, Drew was getting ready to leave for a weeklong work trip the next day (yup while I was 11 days postpartum... and I thought that was hard!) and I was about to fly solo with two kids for the first time in my life. I was nose-deep in motherhood and still managed to hit the gym every day that week that followed, because I am a crazy. But I survived and that toughness translated well because...

(year 8) April 28, 2014 was a short breather in what was at the time a really crazy time. We went out to dinner while my parents watched the kids. I thought Drew was traveling a lot when we lived in MA but the move to Ohio made for traveling every week. Mostly I thought, I have been dealing with this traveling business for the last 3 years, how much harder could this be? And then....

(year 9) April 28, 2015. Who knew adding two more kids would make life 5000 times crazier? Toss in the (8 day) postpartum hormones and ...poor drew. I love that man but this was the worst anniversary ever. Did I mention he was traveling even more than he was the year before?

(year 10) April 28, 2016. The last 4 years of travel finally equate to some sort of return... all those miles/points/etc meant we got to go on an epic trip to Costa Rica a few weeks later which was the highlight of the year! Sarah watched all 4 kids solo the night of our anniversary so Drew and I could go get dinner.

(year 11) And then this year... April 28, 2017. My parents and siblings are all out of town for Sarah's graduation from BYU (she had to be the one to break the 3 years in a row graduation streak, haha!) and we went to uptown for our last 4th Friday living here. We (I?) have been bracing for this big upcoming move in the next month and it feels like most of our lives outside of work and kids revolve around that. I did get my parents scheduled to watch all 4 kids so we can go to Cedar Point later next month for our "anniversary celebration". Date nights are few and far between in the last year (although my parents might say otherwise!) and I feel very much like I did two years ago at this time, neck-deep in motherhood. The twins are super needy and the four kids feels like 10 most days. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, which as late as our kids are staying up means Drew and I spend pretty minimal quality time together, something that I want to work on in the next year. I am extremely grateful that Drew will be in an office in just a couple of weeks when we move to Utah and hope that our days where he works from home are non-existent (except when he wants to because we get 4 feet of snow or something!). It will be nice to have that separation but I am just thrilled he won't be traveling anymore. Also I realized we don't really take pictures together anymore, mostly just of the kids, so this is about the most recent picture we have from our (too short, didn't even have time to miss the kids) Utah trip. Maybe next year we will go on a bigger adventure?

 

we move a month from today and I joined the #CSEchallenge

May 27 is the official move out date. I still cannot believe it is coming up so soon. Just about everything that can be packed away, is. And everything else... will have to wait till that weekend.

My "hatred of making food" funk is officially over! I know it's not great timing since I SHOULD be trying to just eat up all the stuff we have so we don't have to toss or move it but I. Just. Can't. Mentally I am ready for an easy-ish challenge when it comes to eating so when I saw this I knew it was meant to be. I got my cookbook (hard copy, because I am old school like that) late, so I started today. I love that I don't have to calculate calories or fat or anything... I just make the food and eat it and the dinner plans make enough for "8" which means enough for everyone for dinner and then I have enough for lunch the next day (which is part of the plan). I love that it gives you ideas of what to prep for two big "prep nights" a week, which is ideal for me, and I really only have to make one thing a day (dinner). The snacks have been easy enough to make that I make with the kids and they love sharing it with me.

I finally stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time and was not terribly surprised at the number. At 2 years postpartum, I weigh just about as much as I did at 6 weeks postpartum with the twins. True story. Obviously, the makeup of my body is completely different now than it was then, but inside it feels the same--it feels like neglect. I have been neglecting too many aspects of my life, and I am ready to take back that control in any way that I can. I don't know how well I will be able to manage the Clean Simple Eats challenge for a full 40 days (since we will be moving across country with all our stuff somewhere in the midst of that), but having a new arsenal of foods that I love to make and enjoy eating and are good for me is setting me up for future success regardless of how well I am able to abide by a meal plan. And I can certainly do it for the next 30! I did my first "at home" workout they provided and I actually LOVED it... my hands have been healing since my last crossfit visit earlier this week, and I will probably be back tomorrow but it is so nice to have an option in case I can't make it at 6am.

I have a sinkful of dirty dishes, an entire evening was spent prepping instead of relaxing with Drew, but I feel really really good about everything. That peace I was talking about in the last post? A lot of it came along with this plan, and I am thrilled that I stumbled upon it because it was literally an answer to some serious prayer. Fiesta Lime chicken tacos on the menu for tomorrow night and for the first time in a long time, I am not worrying about if my kids or husband likes what I am making them.

 and HBD little Kevs! 9 years old today and I still cannot believe how big a part he has played in our lives for most of our marriage! We have known him longer than any of our kids and while we have had our ups and downs, the last year has been on the up and up with him as we continue to love him and count our blessings for such a patient, affectionate, loving cat.

peace.

2017 started off strong. I was creating new habits, I was going to bed early and working out in the morning and spending more time with my family but I wasn't completely balanced and ultimately I tipped... I feel like I allowed March and most of April to consume me, which has felt a little bit like being "caught in the undertow" so to speak. I continued to move, just not in the direction I wanted to go.

Last night I had a moment of clarity. I had allowed myself to feel so bogged down for so long by all these things (psoriasis, stressors, cold sores, diastasis, behaviors/attitudes of those around me, social media,etc) that I had very little if any control over. And last night I decided I was going to let them go. I want my life to be filled with things I want to fill it with, and the rest I will allow to fall by the wayside. I am letting go of guilt, hopefully for good this time. I am resetting my priorities. I am going to crossfit tomorrow morning.

So with my alarm set for 5:30 this morning, I got up (after a moment's hesitation...or two), got dressed and was about to leave when I heard... Lan crying. For me. Crap. This was seriously happening. I went over my options and decided to go for the craziest one: I quickly grabbed him before he could wake up Lo, packed a few extra things with me and took him to crossfit with me. He stayed in the stroller the entire hour (!!!) with my phone and snacks and I got my workout and a great start to my day.

"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

It's taken me 31 years but slowly and surely I am going to get there!

I got a wonderful morning with all 3 of my siblings, my mom and my 3 youngest kids. I am such a lucky woman. Then I came home and started on this study guide and realized this sort of studying was the sort of thing I was hungering for the last few months, one of the biggest stones that fell to the wayside since January, and it felt so good to pick it back up again. Peace. In the midst of the storm of chaos that will be brewing over the next month or so, Peace is what I crave most and I feel so blessed that this was the month's topic!

my 2 year old twin A/"Leo"/Twin #1/Button/Lando-panda-banana

At almost 27 pounds (1.5 more than baby brother) and at 32.75 inches tall, an inch shorter than said brother, he is shaping up to be short and strong like his big sister! My poor kids (aside from Lo at this point)... all consistently in the 5-10%ile for height. Noggin is still bobble-head size.

Oh my Panda. Two years old and...he definitely fits the stereotypical "terrible twos" profile. He feels everything, much like his big sister before him, VERY DEEPLY. One moment he is screaming his head off, hitting anyone who comes near him and scratching or biting or pulling hair like a maniac and THE NEXT MOMENT is snuggling up against me whispering "I yuh you mama" while I recover from the whiplash. And he is like that all. the. time. Even if he is getting his way he may swing the moods in the opposite direction, usually without warning, but it is pretty much guaranteed that not getting his way will result in a tantrum.

Things Lan does NOT like: holding hands while crossing the street, diaper changes, car seats, sitting in strollers, being restricted against doing anything, ice cream (or anything that he deems too cold), the blender or anything that is TOO LOUD

Things Lan does like: Nature Cat and most PBS shows, just about every fruit known to mankind, salad, ranch, anything I am trying to eat, chicken nuggets, Pandas, cheerios/daddy cereal for breakfast, his Mama, Llama Llama Red Pajama is his favorite book, he collects sticks and rocks (mostly for carrying around and throwing a few minutes later), he enjoys walking/running, wrestling with his brothers, trampoline jumping, jumping on the bed, singing songs, watching the preview/trailer for the movies CoCo and Boss Baby, dogs and cats especially when he can give them kisses or hugs, HUGS in general, snuggling, Elsa, Moana, Maui, being barefoot (Stinky feet), his blankies (I LOVE when he insists on carting them around, Linus-style!), Shah shah (my car, "sally"), not to be confused with Shah Shohs (sandals, his new keens), hulk, unzipping his pajamas/taking off his diaper, running around naked, baths, GOGO (still his word for Lo, whom he insists on giving a hug and kiss EVERY time I put them to bed!), wiggle cars (he goes so fast!!), chips/crackers, nursery, pretending to go to school, eating markers/crayons/playdoh, treats, presents, cupcakes (but only the frosting), pikachu, AY-YI and TWA (eli and travis), kah and shi shuh (kenna and summer), and of course all of our family members, immediate and extended alike. He likes Facetime but only the part where he gets to hold it the whole time and then press the red button to hang up. He loves screens of every kind, the wagon, and eating. He can sing happy birthday, popcorn song, wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider and just about any nursery rhyme someone teaches him with hand motions.

Panda is a big ball of fun and love and happiness! He is terribly sweet and even if he does smack you in the face with a book he is quick to offer that book to share with you or give you a hug. For being such a runner when we are out in public (usually running AWAY from me), he is very obedient at home and if I ask him to sit on the stairs because he made a bad choice he usually does it!

He is very monkey see monkey do with his sister... Little A always poses for pictures and requests I take them with her favorite characters, Lan now does the same. Even though he is shorter, he is always the one to want to do the grunt work. He knows he is strong and constantly tries to help me with pushing the shopping cart or carrying heavy loads of laundry. He is a wonderful helper and can even do all the silverware in the correct spot when he puts it away. All I need to say is I need help and he is right by my side, pulling up a chair... I LOVE that.

This sweet cherub faced boy has had my heart from day one. He is so squishy and loveable and I love that he is barrel chested and sturdy with barely a neck! I love his widow's peak and all those bruises on that lovely large head of his. I love how fast his little hands and feet go when he is running and how much air he gets on the trampoline. I love his chubby little fingers and toes and how thick his little arms and ankles are (especially compared to his little bro). He is a solid hunk of love and light and I love watching him learning to communicate that he wants fanny pack for the 15th time that afternoon. I love his big rounded top teeth because they remind me of my own. I love his cute little button nose, the one that looked so large when he was born and made him look like an old man, but he has grown into it and it fits his face perfectly. He changes so much every month and certainly keeps me on my toes.

He is my favorite child to greet... every time he sees me he opens his arms out wide, screams MAMAAAAAA and runs to me at top speed, then gives me the biggest hug ever, like he hasn't seen me in years. When little d lets him out of the crib he runs to my bedside with a HI MAMA and kisses me (usually on the lips!) and then does the same for Drew. He makes me feel like a million bucks, every time I am around him. he has been using "MO" instead of NO for the last few months which has been adorable. He still uses signs to emphasize his desires, especially SHARE for getting Lo to share a toy or my phone with him. He and Lo both LOVE the Endless Alphabet App  (the only "game") on my phone, they call it ABC;s and fight over it anytime I have my phone out.

Lan is a great kid, even with the tantrums. He is so well mannered and good natured and sweet and I cannot say enough good about him but he radiates goodness. I am excited to see the preschooler that emerges from this cute little chubby toddler over the course of the next year!

the twins are two years old

April with all its birthdays and now moving stuff has gotten to be a little bit crazy, out of control. Both boys deserve (and they will get them tomorrow!) little recaps on life as a two year old but for now I wanted to remember a few things about today in particular.

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. A lot of changes, moving parts, psoriasis flare-ups, losing/forgetting things... and lack of desire to work out since I got back from Utah. I know, right? Today was only the second day I went this week (which is an all time low btw) but I am so glad I did because it helped set the tone to my day.

I came home a little after 7:15 and the boys were all awake and downstairs so I skipped the shower till after breakfast and we did presents. We already gave the boys their baseball tees, so they got minion movies, books, more action figures, and some little lawn chairs. It was so fun to see how excited they got when they heard the word presents! We got everyone out the door for the library a little late (thanks to princess A of course) but made it for storytime long enough....for Lan to decide he wanted to leave. And when I finally convinced him to stay, A wanted out. It took some convincing and then she and Lo wanted to leave, but by then Lan wanted very much to stay. Long story short, everyone left the library miserable (in record setting time--less than 20 minutes!), A started running outside, Lan followed and tripped, fell flat on his face on the concrete, Lo fell on top of him and poor Lan's face got a concrete-and-Lo sandwich that gave him a fat lip. Lots of crying and screaming (not the first from that outing of course) ensued.

I literally dragged everyone into the car, swearing under my breath that we were going home and I was NEVER leaving the house with them again. We stopped by the store for some berries for the boys cake (which was also a nightmare) and we came home. Thankfully, popping in a movie for a bit while I ate sushi and everyone else chilled out for a bit helped. We did the trampoline and then a favorite lunch (berries and HB egg and quesadillas), and everyone (myself included!) went down for naps. I took little d's bed and got to witness Lo climbing out of his crib and scaling the outside of his crib. The boy can no longer be contained. But I will still try to keep him in there for the next month! I convinced Kevs to come nap with us and that kept the boys happy enough, we all fell asleep for an hour and then I magically got up (no alarm!) and everyone slept an hour more. It was magical and a good reminder that I need to get to bed earlier!

Little d came home, we snacked and worked on the movie some more while everyone woke up at their leisure, we got invited to the local park and we had a good outing. I came home, we made pizza and sugar cookie cake, ate dinner and my dad and two siblings came over for bday cake. We played, went on a quick walk, and I bathed the boys and put them to bed. Nothing about today was extraordinary, and to be honest it felt like staying at home would have probably been the best option. With little d I was so used to "treating" him by taking him out somewhere, but it is obvious to me that that is not where we are with the twins and that is ok. I'm glad I know that now and I am grateful for the tender mercies that kept me (mostly) patient and (mostly) at home with the boys because that is where they are happiest. Also if they are not well behaved it is much easier to manage a time-out at home instead of trying to wrestle them (ok just Lan) into submission.

Regardless. They are two years old now, the fastest two years of my life and I still cannot believe how handsome and sweet and smart they are getting! More on that tomorrow. A couple of my favorite pics of the two of them from the last year: 

 ^^ little A's first gymnastics class... mistake to bring the twins!

 ^^sitting and reading books while I ate breakfast...unprompted!

 ^^our first and one of our few runs together in the BOB

 ^^collecting acorns for the squirrels

 ^^one of (too) many home depot trips. When I could still get them to sit in a cart. I WALK is the most commonly used phrase when we are out.

 ^^these fit at the end of baseball season last year and I am thrilled they still do this year!

 ^^once upon a child has the SMALLEST carts EVER!

 First christmas they could actually do stuff! New shirts!

 seeing Moana for the first time... totally in love! They already knew all the songs pretty much! Thank you Youtube!

 Before we tore up all the Moana books: