summer of '18: Landopanda

 Oh Lan... probably the only photo that needs explaining is the bare bum... every time he has an accident he has to take off his "favorite clothes "since thats all he wears, and use them and his blanket to clean his mess. It's a terrible rule, I know but as many accidents as we have had I am sure there would be more if I didn't have this punishment (he always goes at least a week or two betweeen accidents when we do this).

 my little leftie!!!

Landopanda questionnaire at 3 years old

 above with favorite shirt and cape, below with favorite sweatshirt!

Favorite thing to do: soccer
Favorite game: I like playing the dinosaur game, no i like watching dustin playing on zelda
Favorite TV show: Paw Patrol and PJ masks
Favorite movie: "Pwobbwee just PJ Masks"
Favorite Superhero: Captain America
Favorite food: bananas
Favorite Breakfast: Blueberry (jam with PB) sandwiches
Favorite Lunch: Landon!
Favorite Dinner: Noodles and Cake
Favorite animal: Pandas!
Favorite Color: Blue
What do you do really well: Play with Tagg and Nellie!
What do you want to be when you grow up: A Mommy!
What makes you laugh? Pandas!
What is scary for you? Tigers
Best Friend: Tagg ... and Cooper and Weston
What do you like to do with your family? Play toys with my family and swing on the swingset
What do you like to learn about? Panda books
Favorite book: Panda book
Favorite Song: PJ Masks
Favorite church song: I am a child of god
Where do you like to go: Go for a walk, go on the beach
What do you take to bed with you at night? blankies!! and my color (he has a carribbeaner he loves)
What would wish for? Treats: go trick or treating and go look at treats and wear my favorite halloween costume and wear chocolate chip and peanut butter treats and get a chase collar but not to eat and a black and pink waterbottle and a gold waterbottle
What would you buy if mommy gave you some money? FRUIT SNACKS!

BLUE is for CATBOY: Landopanda one month before he turns THREE YEARS OLD!

Okay, where did my babies go?! Right, I blinked and they are about to be full blown pre-preschoolers next month (is that a thing? What else do you call three year olds?). Anyone who has been in my house the last six months knows that PJ masks has TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. Everything blue HAS to be for Lan, Green for Lo and Red for Little A, Which is maddening since we have plenty of things that are also purple and orange and yellow...

Anyways. They have seen every episode at least 5 times (my fault there but those 20 minutes are perfect for a post-workout shower!) and Lan is in love with all things blue and cats and sometimes has me call him Conner (Because that is the name of the little boy who becomes catboy). Lan is also into Paw Patrol even though we have barely even watched it except for a few youtube clips (Since we only have netflix and hulu). He still likes Cars over superheroes and tearing up books (Even his favorite ones!) over reading them. 

While Lan has been second to everything Lo has done first (aside from being born, Lo has sat up & crawled & walked & talked before Lan), Lan has REALLY taken to potty training. I mean it took a solid week for it all to click, but after that week when told everyone I was giving up, he still kept up with it! We are about 5-6 weeks in now, and he has only had one accident at night (when he slept in and wasn't feeling well), and other than that he can tell me when he needs to go and can hold it in till we can get there!! He transitioned AMAZING from the little potty to the big toilets and only regressed when we put out the little toilet for Lo last week (I HATE cleaning that thing!) but a little bribery (2 jellybeans or chocolate chips for the big toilet, only one for the little potty!) went a long way with this one and I definitely credit him for keeping Lo's interest in potty training, even if it took a solid month for littlest Lo to really "get" potty training (and honestly I mostly kept him in diapers since I was so tired of all the little accidents!).

 Lan is the only one of my kids to still be able to nap or fall asleep on me in church or at a baseball game (!) if it is after about 2 and he is tuckered out for the day. He is always the first to wake me up (since DST it is now 730 instead of 630am) with "I need to go potty!" to get me to unlock the door. He loves hugs and kisses and I have learned that to make transitions easier (daycare at the gym or nursery at church),making sure to give him both kisses and hugs makes a big difference.

 He still loves his blankies and will insist on wearing the same shirt (PJ masks or PAW patrol) every day if they are clean. Both boys are still getting away with 2T/24 month pants (barely, they are getting so short on them!) and 2/3t shirts. Since in the winter I wanted them to still wear long sleeves and they still wanted to wear their short sleeves, I convinced them (starting with Lan) that the long sleeve counts as an undershirt and they can wear both. Lan interpreted that as me giving him permission to wear two shirts at all times, which is is MO right now, usually both short sleeve. He is thinning out but staying quite a bit shorter than Lo, I think he is still a pound heavier but I am sure not for long. The boys now have boots, sandals, church shoes and "fast running shoes" and love to alternate between the two. Lan picked up taking on and off clothes and shoes and loves to do it by himself all the time (usually pants on backwards or he will pick two right shoes!) I tried to put their names on the bottom of the shoes since they are still the same size to help me, but they are picking up on recognizing at least the shapes of the letters of their names pretty fast.

 Lan's tantrums. HOLY COW. I could write a novel on those. He is SO sweet like his sister but also like his sister he can go from calm to RAGING MONSTER in no time flat. And when he does you just pray you're not in public because he has started this year with throwing off his clothes including his underwear when he gets upset! It it really funny and REALLY hard not to laugh at... I don't know what to do with him when that happens so I have been trying to give him space and make sure he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else (Which happens 99% of the time unfortunately).

 Lan loves food but like his sister he is more prone to wanting snacks and trying everything she likes (mostly carbs!) I can usually be eating something like a salad and he will ask for some to share my food so at least he likes salad!

 He is so strong and strong willed and kind and loving and 1000 other emotions all rolled into one!

 He is most likely to make a mess or get sopping wet from playing because he is always "all in" when he plays anything. I get more pictures of Lo lately because he moves so fast or refuses to take pics because he's being silly. He still runs away from me but once he sees me go out of his sight he freaks out and comes right back... I love that through the tantrums (which always involve  a fair amount of collateral damage around him) he is still a Mama's boy.

 Lan is talking all the time, finally stopped eating markers and crayons and paint (for now) and is just so delightful when he is good. We have a lot of anger/control issues in this house so he's not the only one who is learning to deal more positively with his emotions, he just has one of the biggest personalities in an already competitive sibling family. He is my super snuggler and I love to sit next to him when I get a spare moment. He adores his sister and brothers and is always playing with them.

I could say a million more things about him but the fact is, he is just darling and we all adore him and his chubby little squishy panda face so much! I'm gonna have to get his painting finished (those darn hands!) before his birthday next month!!

peace.

2017 started off strong. I was creating new habits, I was going to bed early and working out in the morning and spending more time with my family but I wasn't completely balanced and ultimately I tipped... I feel like I allowed March and most of April to consume me, which has felt a little bit like being "caught in the undertow" so to speak. I continued to move, just not in the direction I wanted to go.

Last night I had a moment of clarity. I had allowed myself to feel so bogged down for so long by all these things (psoriasis, stressors, cold sores, diastasis, behaviors/attitudes of those around me, social media,etc) that I had very little if any control over. And last night I decided I was going to let them go. I want my life to be filled with things I want to fill it with, and the rest I will allow to fall by the wayside. I am letting go of guilt, hopefully for good this time. I am resetting my priorities. I am going to crossfit tomorrow morning.

So with my alarm set for 5:30 this morning, I got up (after a moment's hesitation...or two), got dressed and was about to leave when I heard... Lan crying. For me. Crap. This was seriously happening. I went over my options and decided to go for the craziest one: I quickly grabbed him before he could wake up Lo, packed a few extra things with me and took him to crossfit with me. He stayed in the stroller the entire hour (!!!) with my phone and snacks and I got my workout and a great start to my day.

"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

It's taken me 31 years but slowly and surely I am going to get there!

I got a wonderful morning with all 3 of my siblings, my mom and my 3 youngest kids. I am such a lucky woman. Then I came home and started on this study guide and realized this sort of studying was the sort of thing I was hungering for the last few months, one of the biggest stones that fell to the wayside since January, and it felt so good to pick it back up again. Peace. In the midst of the storm of chaos that will be brewing over the next month or so, Peace is what I crave most and I feel so blessed that this was the month's topic!

my 2 year old twin A/"Leo"/Twin #1/Button/Lando-panda-banana

At almost 27 pounds (1.5 more than baby brother) and at 32.75 inches tall, an inch shorter than said brother, he is shaping up to be short and strong like his big sister! My poor kids (aside from Lo at this point)... all consistently in the 5-10%ile for height. Noggin is still bobble-head size.

Oh my Panda. Two years old and...he definitely fits the stereotypical "terrible twos" profile. He feels everything, much like his big sister before him, VERY DEEPLY. One moment he is screaming his head off, hitting anyone who comes near him and scratching or biting or pulling hair like a maniac and THE NEXT MOMENT is snuggling up against me whispering "I yuh you mama" while I recover from the whiplash. And he is like that all. the. time. Even if he is getting his way he may swing the moods in the opposite direction, usually without warning, but it is pretty much guaranteed that not getting his way will result in a tantrum.

Things Lan does NOT like: holding hands while crossing the street, diaper changes, car seats, sitting in strollers, being restricted against doing anything, ice cream (or anything that he deems too cold), the blender or anything that is TOO LOUD

Things Lan does like: Nature Cat and most PBS shows, just about every fruit known to mankind, salad, ranch, anything I am trying to eat, chicken nuggets, Pandas, cheerios/daddy cereal for breakfast, his Mama, Llama Llama Red Pajama is his favorite book, he collects sticks and rocks (mostly for carrying around and throwing a few minutes later), he enjoys walking/running, wrestling with his brothers, trampoline jumping, jumping on the bed, singing songs, watching the preview/trailer for the movies CoCo and Boss Baby, dogs and cats especially when he can give them kisses or hugs, HUGS in general, snuggling, Elsa, Moana, Maui, being barefoot (Stinky feet), his blankies (I LOVE when he insists on carting them around, Linus-style!), Shah shah (my car, "sally"), not to be confused with Shah Shohs (sandals, his new keens), hulk, unzipping his pajamas/taking off his diaper, running around naked, baths, GOGO (still his word for Lo, whom he insists on giving a hug and kiss EVERY time I put them to bed!), wiggle cars (he goes so fast!!), chips/crackers, nursery, pretending to go to school, eating markers/crayons/playdoh, treats, presents, cupcakes (but only the frosting), pikachu, AY-YI and TWA (eli and travis), kah and shi shuh (kenna and summer), and of course all of our family members, immediate and extended alike. He likes Facetime but only the part where he gets to hold it the whole time and then press the red button to hang up. He loves screens of every kind, the wagon, and eating. He can sing happy birthday, popcorn song, wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider and just about any nursery rhyme someone teaches him with hand motions.

Panda is a big ball of fun and love and happiness! He is terribly sweet and even if he does smack you in the face with a book he is quick to offer that book to share with you or give you a hug. For being such a runner when we are out in public (usually running AWAY from me), he is very obedient at home and if I ask him to sit on the stairs because he made a bad choice he usually does it!

He is very monkey see monkey do with his sister... Little A always poses for pictures and requests I take them with her favorite characters, Lan now does the same. Even though he is shorter, he is always the one to want to do the grunt work. He knows he is strong and constantly tries to help me with pushing the shopping cart or carrying heavy loads of laundry. He is a wonderful helper and can even do all the silverware in the correct spot when he puts it away. All I need to say is I need help and he is right by my side, pulling up a chair... I LOVE that.

This sweet cherub faced boy has had my heart from day one. He is so squishy and loveable and I love that he is barrel chested and sturdy with barely a neck! I love his widow's peak and all those bruises on that lovely large head of his. I love how fast his little hands and feet go when he is running and how much air he gets on the trampoline. I love his chubby little fingers and toes and how thick his little arms and ankles are (especially compared to his little bro). He is a solid hunk of love and light and I love watching him learning to communicate that he wants fanny pack for the 15th time that afternoon. I love his big rounded top teeth because they remind me of my own. I love his cute little button nose, the one that looked so large when he was born and made him look like an old man, but he has grown into it and it fits his face perfectly. He changes so much every month and certainly keeps me on my toes.

He is my favorite child to greet... every time he sees me he opens his arms out wide, screams MAMAAAAAA and runs to me at top speed, then gives me the biggest hug ever, like he hasn't seen me in years. When little d lets him out of the crib he runs to my bedside with a HI MAMA and kisses me (usually on the lips!) and then does the same for Drew. He makes me feel like a million bucks, every time I am around him. he has been using "MO" instead of NO for the last few months which has been adorable. He still uses signs to emphasize his desires, especially SHARE for getting Lo to share a toy or my phone with him. He and Lo both LOVE the Endless Alphabet App  (the only "game") on my phone, they call it ABC;s and fight over it anytime I have my phone out.

Lan is a great kid, even with the tantrums. He is so well mannered and good natured and sweet and I cannot say enough good about him but he radiates goodness. I am excited to see the preschooler that emerges from this cute little chubby toddler over the course of the next year!