Monday "hangover"

Once upon a time I actually looked forward to the weekends. They were fun. A chance to get out and do something out of the ordinary and break up the monotony of the school or workweek.

Then we had kids.

Specifically kids who didn't sleep in no matter how late we stayed up. And we still attempt to bake or do fun stuff mostly at home these days but then Monday morning comes and the babies always sleep the WORST on the weekends so Monday is full of headaches and cleaning up messes and longing for sleep (and a nap if I'm lucky) and today a couple of snaps from... Well i think you'll be able to guess our little photog.

Haha and this one is my favorite...

Usually it takes me till Wednesday to recover from the weekend.

Ok babies, mommy's ready to finish losing that baby weight now if you'll let me sleep!!

Well now you all know it. The twin (pun intended) Devils of sleep deprivation and stress are my weight loss kryptonite. I lose any desire to eat healthy foods, face plant into anything with crazy amounts of processed sugars, and eschew any sort of workout regimen. 

Cue teething and crying. So. much. crying.

Tomorrow is a new day. I know I am not alone in how I cope with anger/frustration, but I am really truly trying hard to not resort to my initial knee jerk reaction (screaming, running away and throwing things), or my second reaction (sugar), and instead I will be trying to replace that frustration with some deep breaths, drinking a large glass of ice cold water, and chewing gum or eating carrots... Something to channel all that energy. Ha. wish me luck.

So. If you see me chugging water or chewing what seems like a giant wad of double bubble.... You should probably just turn around and walk in the other direction. Save yourself. You've been warned.

Somethings lately I wish I had caught on camera

The twins both waving their arms around in the car while in their car seats, catching each other's hands and holding them for a few precious moments.

Nursing both boys at the same time last week. They were going ballistic so I just pulled both towards me and while they were sitting up they started tandem nursing, but it only worked out for about 30 seconds because they kept shoving each other out of the way!!

Little D's face anytime he learns something new related to Star Wars.

Little A puttering around the kitchen, getting stuff out, moving it all around and singing to herself.

The twins playing together in their side by side cribs first thing in the morning.

Lo crawling, pulling himself to a half seated position with that cute little leg sticking to the side for balance, then pulling himself up to standing to grin at me.

Binky stealing. Especially when there's more than two binkies because then it turns into a crazy binky round robin.

So funny!

LAN's arm flapping. If you haven't seen it in person you should put it on your bucket list because for being the chunk that he is, kid sure does seem like he's trying to fly to me!!!

Little d when drew was out of town earlier this week, crying in his bed for extra hugs because his "heart hurt from missing daddy" it was such a bittersweet moment because obviously the poor boy was super sad but it was so tender to see him open up like that, something I don't get to see too often these days.

Little a spouting off random lines from random Disney movies:

"Forget it joy, we're forgotten!"

"Stop it, you're hurting Riley!"

"Broccoli on pizza? You think I wouldn't notice?!!"

(Inside out)

"Or sneeze or burp or fart"

"Mister boom, please"

"Pretty pretty please?!"

"These are not pajamas!!"

(Despicable me)

"Are you a bum or something?"

(Wreck it Ralph)

And a few moments I did catch on camera from visiting my dads work and my parents house the other day:

A Rocking horse my grandpa built, that I remember playing on when i was little:

Ok, glad you had a good time....

We're ready for you to come home now!!!

"Don't you dare smile!"

Did you know saying that line is usually the only way I can get my kids to smile?

Gosh I love my firstborn. I have done my best to try and thrust myself into the same interests that he has.... Mickey Mouse then curious George and blues clues and superheroes and ninja turtles and now Star Wars. Currently screening the third movie to see if it is appropriate for him to watch.

It's a good thing I love ewan mcgreggor so much.

Sassy mcsassy pants.

And these two... I sure am blessed but man it is a circus lately. The great room once again transformed to contain the Twinners. One full day of no escapes!

Even with a wonderful young woman coming over for a few hours to watch kids so I could clean the house and make dinner and bathe kids, it still felt like a complete circus but it helped me keep calm even with little a screaming at me for 10 solid minutes for forcing her out of the tub. (She later apologized saying "I so sowee about dat angah sqweemin at you ")

That same girl managed to sneak into my room and apply my mascara in .56 seconds the other day and without a mirror did a really stinking good job! I am so grateful I have a daughter and lately I am super grateful I have only one because she is really keeping me on my toes!

Sparking Joy

I don't remember what book it was that I read (I will have to ask Drew), but a book he had to read for work made its way into my hands and I took out of it one single thought:

Use the fact that people are inherently lazy to your advantage.

The example that stuck in my mind was that they did a test where they moved a TV remote one foot away from where it usually was and replaced it with a book...the result being that the person ended up reading the book rather than moving that short distance to watch tv!! So I started to take that to heart... I deleted certain time wasting apps on my phone so I would have to manually go online and enter my name and password to access it and guess what?! I did a whole lot less social media (checking blogs, until I only checked in with a select handful and even then not daily anymore.... then working that way into facebook where I get on, check notifications, then log out) than usual.

My sister Sarah told me about this book (the art of tidying up), and while I didn't read it I took the clifs notes and started applying it to my life, my stuff and my relationships. Especially my relationships!! I was holding onto a lot of them that no longer sparked joy or were necessary in this stage of my life. I love that last point... it served its purpose and its OK TO LET GO!!

In the last month this extended to Instagram, which I used to adore until I realized how it made me feel...some people can use social media to build themselves up but I found myself consistently feeling down because I felt like I was missing out. On activities. With people I hadn't seen in years. I wasn't looking a certain way or eating a certain way or dressing a certain way and instagram and all the people in it seemed to have it all down pat. I was obsessively checking that dumb app multiple times a day, occasionally deleting it when I ran out of space from having so many videos (thank you children!) then re-adding it as soon as I had more space.

Then yesterday I finally backed up my photos and deleted a bunch on my phone. I downloaded and checked instagram, adding a cute movie, and immediately after deleted it. I knew I had the space on my phone but I did not even want the temptation there.

I don't buy junk food to keep in my home because I know I will eat it... I try to only keep foods in my home that will not make me feel like crap/ upset at myself the next day. I don't weigh myself on a daily basis anymore because that number does not define me and weighing myself more often than once a week does not give me joy--a number should never define someone. I don't grocery shop on an empty stomach. I keep what I am currently reading at my bedside and try to be up in bed by 10pm every night so I can get some reading in. I only keep a handful of useful apps on my phone because I no longer want to be held prisoner to the ebbs and flows of social media or the internet. I NEVER turn on the tv without having something specific I am planning on watching (usually on my DVR).

There are a lot of other things I am working on, and these are only a few. I would love to say it is new years related but it started last fall and I have no intention of letting up.

I am sparking joy in my life where I have control over them, and I hope that anyone who is reading this will try to do the same because I know it has made a huge difference in my life.

Joyful-Smart-Strong. This has been my mantra for the last few months and counting...something I came up with when trying to imagine how I wanted my kids and those around me to remember me. Everything I have been doing since last fall has been with this mantra in mind. So I may not know everything that is going on in this world the moment it happens. I am ok with that. Because I kind of have a lot on my plate right now, and if I can keep myself joyful that is just about the best thing I can do for my family at this stage in my life.

Frenemies AND thick as thieves

the twins are TEN months old!?

When I think about how quickly that one year mark is coming I can barely believe that we are almost there!!
Both boys are finally saying mama (yay!!), crawling all over the place (we have arranged the great room to accomodate them and keep them out of the kitchen and now stairs), they eat three square meals a day with us and are seeming more like an extension of our family that has been with us for years rather than some little babies who just happened to come into our lives less than a year ago. This last month started with the great night-weaning, which pretty much ended the nighttime nursing (aside from the last week when Darsi was in town for some reason they felt the need to get up multiple times a night again!) and now for the most part (as of last night) they are sleeping around 7:30pm-6:30ish am which is amazing in my book!

With only 8 weeks left till their birthdays I am working on cutting down the multiple times a day that they nurse (that I refer to as a collective 5"ish" times a day), and sticking to four but no more than 5 feedings a day, mostly because they eat well at mealtime, drink water and whole milk (the latter not as often but they eat lots of yogurt and cheese so I know they are getting their calcium) from sippies, and generally I found if I am not spacing out the feedings they are simply not interested in nursing.  Both boys love yogurt and tried chocolate cake for daddy's birthday. They started pulling themselves to standing in addition to crawling enough that my mom got them some real shoes! Both boys are still binky lovers, which I am sure will transition to just being in the cribs over the next two months but it has been reeeeeally nice to have when if they dont already have something in their mouths, they will inevitably put something in there.

The boys usually sleep right next to each other in their own cribs and usually interact nicely with each other after waking up before I come into the room and then it is a nonstop battle for my attention. Thankfully once they are fed and get some mama time, they are content to crawl around and amuse themselves by dumping out toys and book in the playroom. They play great solo, they take things from each other but usually it resolves on its own for now as the other usually gets instantly distracted, and they play well with the big kids. Little a is having a super hard time adjusting just like her big brother before her, as her "Baby" brothers are now getting some serious brute strength and getting all up in her business. My poor little mini alpha is trying to show those babies who is boss and that is hard when they both unintentionally gang up on you!
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Lan: Ok call me crazy but a month ago if you had told me Lan would be ready to wean at 10 months before Lo I would have said NO WAY! But he is. Most days the "Lan side" is engorged because while he still shows enthusiasm for nursing, he only takes a few sips and then gets distracted with something else, probably because he is eating plenty of real food and water and milk and getting all the calories in he needs to (and then some! He still loves to dance and now seeing him "drop it low" as he tries to stand and instead does these deep squats is awesome. He is crazy ticklish anywhere and diapering him is borderline impossible with all the wiggling. I admit more often than not I just let his crawl away naked because that big chunky cellulite covered tush is just about the cutest thing ever, coupled with his "heh heh heh!!" giggle-laugh-guffaw as he squeals and tries to get away.

and if you haven't heard him SCREAM you obviously haven't been around him recently. It is happy and shrill and I swear it has the capability to break glass it is so super soprano (is that a term?). This may surprise most people since I HATE screaming but.... I love it so so much! It is pure unadulterated joy. He is also taking to bounding on his bum up to standing while in his crib which leads to a lot of tears as he faceplants into the crib slats. No surprise that Lan loves just about any food that touches his high chair. Still loves balls and also just about everything else and everyone loves him. Loves tearing pages out of books and eating them (because he is soooo underfed!) His favorite books are the touch and feel ones and he giggles his way through them. He is awestruck by animals including the kevs and loves the swings and the trampoline.
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Lo: Stairs! Without any prodding that i know of, this boy has been able to tackle stairs! one week it was the two steps in the church chapel then the other day I take my eyes off him for a second and he is fully FIVE stairs up on his own!!! Craziness. He is still preferring standing over sitting for extended periods of time, smiling and clapping to himself and its just about the most adorable thing ever. He is fearless and he doesn't even know it. His smile is still heart meltworthy and he gives it freely, but not so with his laughing, which is harder to get out of him but so worth it!! He had a hard time at the start of the last month going to bed because he wanted to practice standing...now he mostly goes to bed pretty easily. He is a little snuggler and still loves his binky.

His favorite song is "whip nae nae" probably because we are always playing it, and he stands and wiggles a little and whips his little arms. He is finally "getting" signing "more" and "all done" (Lan still resorts to flapping his arms for everything) at mealtime. He loves peas and nutrigrain bars and gogurts. That one tooth of his is HUGE but we still rarely see it. He is the only one who has bit me multiple times but he is sensitive so a quick "no!" solves the problem quickly. I was worried after Lan's reflux problem simmered down and Lo seemed like the fussy one that I would never have as much love for Lo as I did for Lan, who is just about the most chill baby on the planet....but over the last month Lo has solidified his sweet babyness on me and I have fallen in love with him all over again in a way that finally makes me feel like the love for both my twinners is equal (not easy to admit it wasn't!! But who wouldnt want to snuggle with a snuggly chunky happy Lan, especially when Lo WON'T snuggle and pushes you away at every turn?? But...Persistence paid off!! Lo is a snuggler, and a good one at that thank goodness.) Lo also loves when I read to him, any book, and he likes to point and help me turn pages. He is goofy, making faces and silly sounds at the table and you just know he is priming himself to be the joker of the family.

Both boys are so sweet and delightful and it makes my heart melt when I come into a room and both boys make a beeline to me, crying out and acting like its been YEARS since they last saw me. I am a terribly lucky mama to have been blessed with these sweet boys and OH YEAH I am almost through the first year of their lives and I'm still ALIVE so that's a miracle right?!

10 month photo shoot for the Twinners

Well it only took about the last three months to reduce this photo shoot to bare essentials: no blanket or even clothes. 10 shots taken in about 2 minutes total, including the time I wrangled them. Twin babies are easy, it's the toddler business that will do me in!! So much moving!!

Littlest Lo my little sweet heart!

Lan.... Chunktastic. Is that a word? His rolls are delicious.

I have so much to say about this last month but it will have to wait till I can sit at my laptop longer than five minutes. Let's leave it at this: both boys are positively delightful!!! And after a week of horrible "I may never sleep again!" Sleep, they gave me this last night:

SIX HOURS AND CHANGE WITHOUT BEINNG WOKEN UP ONCE!!! even when we have made it "sleeping through the night" at least one boy has woken me up so this is HUGE!! Too bad I'm still exhausted today haha. Lan is hitting his head on the window of the playroom and Lo is overturning little a's musical car... I'm being summoned. #thatmomlife

Faces and two happy thoughts

Braid faces

Goober faces

Funny faces

Butt faces (!)

Naked faces! (She changes into this from her fleece zip up pjs every night!!!)

Zombie faces

6.5 miles on a treadmill of death in 55 minutes faces 

Ice cream faces

Kitty cura faces

Cutting things with her favorite pair of scissors faces

Climbing on mt mommy (all day err day) faces

More braidsssssssss

Snowy faces (was this really only a week ago?!)

Silly goose faces

And my (and drews) homemade valentine from little d (!!!! Heart bursting !!!!!!)

And my first foray into 100k steps in 7 days as of yesterday! Boo yeah!

Ans for those who wonder how I get typically on average about 11k-13k steps a day average... Keep in mind that while i go to the gym less now than I ever have in my adult life, I have four small kids and no nanny or housecleaner so without doing anything extra I can usually get 10k in every day without breaking a sweat. Lucky me right? ;)

Little d gives his first primary talk at almost 6 years old.

This cute boy gave his first real talk in primary today. As in, I asked him what his favorite scripture story was, and what he came up with and wrote were his own words. He read it just about perfectly and I love how well what he wrote captured what he wanted to say.

He requested that his dad go up with him and hold up a picture of Christ on the cross. I love this sweet boy and his knowledge and love for the plain and simple truths of the gospel (except he did think that Christ died and then he created man so that was the only part we left out because well we don't want to preach false doctrine or anything!).

Anyways. Little d was perfect and his hair was on point and I just wanted to make sure I remembered this day! I am such a proud mamma.