The first two pictures are the last ones taken...
the rest are all PG rated only because you see blood, but nothing inappropriate, no worries.
Story of the first few precious minutes of baby girl's birth
Showing posts with label baby a. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby a. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Little A's Birth Story: My long-awaited VBAC
I can hardly believe it has been only a week since Little A decided to grace us with her presence (two days late, I may add, and I'll never let her forget it!)... it seems like a lifetime ago. I am so grateful that Anna was able to come into town the next day and assist in Little D duties (ie baseball pitcher, swing pusher, racing buddy, etc) since she has been a huge help to us. I will be super incredibly sad to see her leave (not to mention we will probably be dealing with an epic meltdown on some little guy's part!) but alas the news would not be the same in Champaign without her.
Without further ado: Little A's VBAC story. Unedited. If birth stories gross you out, read no further and come back later.
Total "labor" time: 23 hours and 39 minutes.
Last Wednesday at 6:30 am I was woken up by none other than little d. I rolled out of bed and downstairs, helped him change his clothes and we played for awhile before settling into breakfast. Mr. D joined us for breakfast around 7:30, I remember having to get up to go pee at least twice, and both times were if I don't go this very second I will pee my pants desperate. I cursed my tiny pregnant smushed bladder and figured incontinence was something I should probably settle into and get used to for the next week (having resigned myself to the fact that baby girl was going to be a no show). Little did I know, that was my water breaking.
With little d, I was fully dilated and effaced and about ready to start pushing when my water finally broke, which it did with a big gush (one of the grossest moments of my life, to be sure). Needless to say, it did not even enter my mind that my water would break before the onset of my contractions. When we neared 9am, I was having to rush to the bathroom every 20ish minutes to "pee", nothing was leaking inbetween but when I would sit down it was, well, a mini gush of fluid. I knew if I didn't go the gym and this wasn't my water breaking it would really jinx it, so at 9:20 we headed (late) to the gym for my tri-weekly power lifting class. Everyone knows me by name and of course was super bummed that I showed up at all (since every time I come in late they assume I am in labor). I felt fine lifting my 20-25 pounds (down from 30-35 a few classes before) until we got up from doing tricep work on our backs (I was at an angle on a bench of course) and I felt the urge to go to the bathroom, so I went. Another gush. I looked up on my phone "how to know if my water broke" and it mentioned something about being clear and the smell... that it would not smell like urine. Ok, that made sense and it appeared that was what was going on. But I'm stubborn and wanted to finish the class, so I went back and finished. I felt great. Still no contractions, but I was hopeful they would come soon if my water was indeed broken.
At 10:30am, on the way home from the gym, I called Mr. D and told him to quickly shower and get ready, that we would be heading over to my Dr's office near my inlaws (so we could drop off little d) and I could take a test there to determine if it was amniotic fluid that was indeed leaking out of me. I called my doctor and described what had happened and he told me to skip going to his office and go right to the hospital. I tried not to jump for joy as we made it home, showered, and gathered all the stuff I had been accumulating over the last few months: a overnight bag and backpack for little d, purse and overnight bag for myself, gifts for little d, and some snacks. I have never been so grateful to have giant pads on hand pre-purchased like I did on the way to the hospital, where it felt like every bump made me leak even more. Still no contractions.
11:45am we dropped off little d at my inlaws, promising I would be pushing out his sister (finally!) so he could see her. He seemed excited but probably just because he knew he was about to be spoiled rotten for the next little while while I was at the doctor's. We made it to the hospital just after noon and they admitted me immediately. There was a lot of waiting around after I changed into my hospital clothes, but at least I didn't get turned away (one of my biggest fears since that happened last time) and I was actually pretty comfortable, minus the leaking. A nurse finally got around to checking my cervix and I was still at a "1"... no dilation since my doctor checked me earlier that week. I admitted that I had not been feeling any contractions so they went ahead and started me on antibiotics at 1pm(I tested positive again for group B strep, which isn't bad for me, it was really just to protect baby girl from getting sick, and the risk of infection rises when my water is broken, hence why they admitted me to the hospital without checking me first). Once we got there and they informed me I was not allowed to eat I immediately regretted my decision not to have lunch before we left... I had been snacking on some nuts and grapes since leaving the house and aside from cereal that morning it was all I had eaten that day.
2pm the nurses realized that after monitoring me for an hour, I wasn't lying. There were no contractions to be found, so, begrudgingly I allowed them to put me on pitocin. I didn't really have much of a choice since I wasn't progressing and they said that once my water broke they wanted to be sure I would have my baby within 24 hours (by 7:30 am Thursday). I was nervous because I knew pitocin would increase my chances of having a uterine rupture or something else to cause a repeat c-section, so they assured me they would be upping my dose slowly. If things went along like last time with little d, they figured once they got my contractions started, my body would take over and know what to do. Unfortunately little A's head was still so high up, they figured it would probably take quite awhile to work its way down. Boy, were they right!
3pm it started to get "busy" in the maternity ward. I didn't exactly understand (coming from a first delivery in Utah) how 12 ladies in labor was considered busy, but my nurse (all of whom were much older than I thought possible, aren't you supposed to be retired once you can't really hear your patients?) recommended I go ahead and get my epidural before things started to get really uncomfortable and the anesthesiologists got too busy. They had Mr. D leave the room for 30 minutes (that didn't happen last time with little d) and a cute little Indian lady read me my rights and placed my epidural. I guess I only remember the epidural from the c-section because I thought it was weird to still be able to move my legs, even if they did feel a little heavier than usual. Even weirder to be getting my epidural placed when I wasn't even feeling contractions, although I was supposedly getting quite a few, three minutes apart on average. I thought it was odd that they didn't put in a catheter but somehow I was able to hold in my bladder except for the times they put in a temporary catheter to empty my bladder.
4:30pm came and went and finally someone came in to check my cervix for the first time since when I checked in. Still a "1". They thought maybe it was because they kept having to empty my bladder so they put in a permanent catheter and I was left with a popsicle for the next two hours. I was starving! STARVING. I would have done anything for some food, ANY food. The commercials during a Friends marathon kept me salivating, while mentally making a checklist of all the food I was going to eat once this was all said and over with.
6:30pm two hours had passed since I had seen a nurse and I was only a 2. A TWO! THAT's IT?! I desperately asked for and received another popsicle and somehow caught a glimpse of a paper that informed me only siblings 14 years and older who had the flu shot were allowed in the maternity ward. I lost it. I had been away from my baby boy for going on seven hours and now they were going to tell me he wasn't allowed to come visit me?!?! Tears were pouring down my cheeks and I no longer cared about that stupid popsicle, I just wanted to be home with little d. As grateful as I was that Mr. D was able to be by my side that day, he wasn't the one I spent just about 24/7 with, and I felt that piece of my heart was missing. Would I ever see him again!? Gosh, it hurt so bad. Mr. D saw me getting hysterical and was quick to ask a nurse about visitations and she assured him little d would be allowed in, that this was a family friendly hospital. Crisis averted.
7pm the pitocin really started kicking in and I could feel the contractions but they were still not nearly even remotely close to what I had with little d before being admitted to the hospital last time. We started watching the Red Sox game and I realized I had not watched this much TV in a really long time; I was starting to get sick of it already.
7:20pm I gave myself my first shot of epidural...for those of you who don't know, when they put it in your spine you get a constant dose of it, and then you can get a little extra if you push a button. I was able to call little d and he spoke with me for a few minutes. He was on the ipad (no surprise there) but he was happy, having taken a long nap that afternoon and then being able to play with his uncle and grandparents. I was relieved and told him to enjoy his sleepover and that I would see him tomorrow, hoping and praying that I was telling him the truth. I got a new nurse, Darlene, and fell in love with her instantly. She referred to little A by name and was never shy about pronouncing how well she was doing during the contractions. Darlene would become my best friend before her shift was through.
8:30pm even while switching from multiple sitcoms to the Red Sox and Celtics game, I could not be distracted enough to notice the pain from the contractions. I had been moved multiple times in a couple different positions to "even out" the epidural but all I could feel were my contractions, and all I could NOT feel were my dead weight legs. I got another popsicle.
9, 9:30, 9:45... my will to only push the button every half hour was waning. It seemed like the drugs were pooling in my dead legs and nothing was stopping the pain I felt from the contractions. By 10pm Darlene wants me to sleep and so she calls in the anesthesiologist to give me a little boost on my dose.
11pm I continue to drug myself, the pain only getting worse as I find I am having to use some serious focus and yoga breath to keep from moaning out loud. They bring Mr. D a cot and he eventually falls asleep, not bothering to set his alarm for work (7am) the next day since we are pretty sure that with the severity of my contractions and how long we have been there, baby girl should be out within a few hours.
2am rolls around and I am LIVID. It takes everything in my power to take 10 slow, deep, focused breaths to get through each contraction. I can't focus on anything else but that clock, willing those 40 seconds to go faster so I can again find relief. You know that pain scale they show you at the hospital? I was maybe a 1 or 2 when I came in, and this was a 10...as in OMG THIS IS THE MOST AMOUNT OF PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.... IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO DIE? CAN IT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE THAN THIS??
By 3:30 am Mr. D is snoring beside me and I am trying not to have a panic attack. I have never had to deal with so much pain and all I can think of is that I need to let my body relax and do its job so this hellish torment can be over with as fast as possible. With every contraction, every breath was focused on relaxing my muscles, envisioning baby girl working her way down the birth canal. Darlene kept reminding me how well little A was doing through each contraction...she was even sleeping through some of them! Having had my first c-section in large part because of fetal distress, this was the best thing I could have heard.
at 4am, Darlene couldn't wait any longer. She had me checked (I was only a "4", I still had a long way to go!) and then she chased down (literally!!) the anesthesiologist and we made the decision to take out the first epidural and put in a new one. He reminded me (mid-contraction of course) that if the first one didn't work there was a possibility this second one wouldn't work as well. I wanted to scream and run and pull my hair out and cry but instead I just nodded and kept breathing, focusing on Darlene's hands holding mine and continuing to encourage me by telling me how relaxed and poised I was. By some small miracle we were able to get a second epidural placed and within 30 minutes I was drug from hell and put back in heaven again. I felt pressure but no pain.
4:30am I finally fell asleep and it was the best hour of sleep of my life... I had been awake nearly 22 hours!
5:30am I woke up with a start. I waited a few minutes to be sure but there was definitely pressure on my bum... I was feeling a serious need to push! Having not been checked for hours (I guess that is protocol when your water breaks, to minimize the chances of infection), I was elated when she announced that while I was having a contraction she could feel Little A's head! WHAT?! I woke up Mr. D, pulled up my legs and started pushing with each contraction. I joked with my nurse Darlene that we would have this baby out by the end of her 7:30 shift and she swore she would not leave my side until she saw baby girl.
6:15am after nurses telling Mr. D to look down there to see his baby girl's head during contractions, I couldn't wait any longer. I sprang at the change to get a mirror down there and surprised myself by not just being fascinated but being motivated with each push to see that little head crowning inside my body. I couldn't believe it (and this coming from a person who swore she would rather die than 1) have her husband even peeking down there while she was in labor and 2) have to witness herself the horror of a baby wrecking her lady bits). This was absolutely amazing and when a few interns who were about to graduate in a few weeks and had never seen a vaginal delivery showed up and wanted to watch, I surprised myself and welcomed them to watch, along with about a half dozen other strangers. the interns, two girls who reminded me of my own sisters, were sweet and helped keep me cool in between pushes, and got the camera ready so Mr. D could do more watching than videoing.
7am I was doing this. I was laboring and about to have a vaginal delivery. I could feel things being stretched in ways I never wanted them to be but none of that mattered; I was about to meet my daughter. I knew my body in such an intimate way as I had never known it before. I thought I knew my body when I ran the marathon last year, but this year was even different, better perhaps because I felt so close to my Savior, my Heavenly Father, and the moment I pushed her out and heard "7:11 am!" I knew I had just caught a glimpse of heaven. As they brought little A to my arms, wet with fluids and warm to my chest, I was so overwhelmed with love. Love for Mr. D. Love for my daughter, and son, even if he wasn't there. Love for Darlene and everyone else who helped coach me to this point. I was so unbelievably happy. Even as they stitched me back up from my second degree tears, I was still on cloud nine.
I did it. I got my VBAC after all.
Without further ado: Little A's VBAC story. Unedited. If birth stories gross you out, read no further and come back later.
Total "labor" time: 23 hours and 39 minutes.
Last Wednesday at 6:30 am I was woken up by none other than little d. I rolled out of bed and downstairs, helped him change his clothes and we played for awhile before settling into breakfast. Mr. D joined us for breakfast around 7:30, I remember having to get up to go pee at least twice, and both times were if I don't go this very second I will pee my pants desperate. I cursed my tiny pregnant smushed bladder and figured incontinence was something I should probably settle into and get used to for the next week (having resigned myself to the fact that baby girl was going to be a no show). Little did I know, that was my water breaking.
With little d, I was fully dilated and effaced and about ready to start pushing when my water finally broke, which it did with a big gush (one of the grossest moments of my life, to be sure). Needless to say, it did not even enter my mind that my water would break before the onset of my contractions. When we neared 9am, I was having to rush to the bathroom every 20ish minutes to "pee", nothing was leaking inbetween but when I would sit down it was, well, a mini gush of fluid. I knew if I didn't go the gym and this wasn't my water breaking it would really jinx it, so at 9:20 we headed (late) to the gym for my tri-weekly power lifting class. Everyone knows me by name and of course was super bummed that I showed up at all (since every time I come in late they assume I am in labor). I felt fine lifting my 20-25 pounds (down from 30-35 a few classes before) until we got up from doing tricep work on our backs (I was at an angle on a bench of course) and I felt the urge to go to the bathroom, so I went. Another gush. I looked up on my phone "how to know if my water broke" and it mentioned something about being clear and the smell... that it would not smell like urine. Ok, that made sense and it appeared that was what was going on. But I'm stubborn and wanted to finish the class, so I went back and finished. I felt great. Still no contractions, but I was hopeful they would come soon if my water was indeed broken.
At 10:30am, on the way home from the gym, I called Mr. D and told him to quickly shower and get ready, that we would be heading over to my Dr's office near my inlaws (so we could drop off little d) and I could take a test there to determine if it was amniotic fluid that was indeed leaking out of me. I called my doctor and described what had happened and he told me to skip going to his office and go right to the hospital. I tried not to jump for joy as we made it home, showered, and gathered all the stuff I had been accumulating over the last few months: a overnight bag and backpack for little d, purse and overnight bag for myself, gifts for little d, and some snacks. I have never been so grateful to have giant pads on hand pre-purchased like I did on the way to the hospital, where it felt like every bump made me leak even more. Still no contractions.
11:45am we dropped off little d at my inlaws, promising I would be pushing out his sister (finally!) so he could see her. He seemed excited but probably just because he knew he was about to be spoiled rotten for the next little while while I was at the doctor's. We made it to the hospital just after noon and they admitted me immediately. There was a lot of waiting around after I changed into my hospital clothes, but at least I didn't get turned away (one of my biggest fears since that happened last time) and I was actually pretty comfortable, minus the leaking. A nurse finally got around to checking my cervix and I was still at a "1"... no dilation since my doctor checked me earlier that week. I admitted that I had not been feeling any contractions so they went ahead and started me on antibiotics at 1pm(I tested positive again for group B strep, which isn't bad for me, it was really just to protect baby girl from getting sick, and the risk of infection rises when my water is broken, hence why they admitted me to the hospital without checking me first). Once we got there and they informed me I was not allowed to eat I immediately regretted my decision not to have lunch before we left... I had been snacking on some nuts and grapes since leaving the house and aside from cereal that morning it was all I had eaten that day.
2pm the nurses realized that after monitoring me for an hour, I wasn't lying. There were no contractions to be found, so, begrudgingly I allowed them to put me on pitocin. I didn't really have much of a choice since I wasn't progressing and they said that once my water broke they wanted to be sure I would have my baby within 24 hours (by 7:30 am Thursday). I was nervous because I knew pitocin would increase my chances of having a uterine rupture or something else to cause a repeat c-section, so they assured me they would be upping my dose slowly. If things went along like last time with little d, they figured once they got my contractions started, my body would take over and know what to do. Unfortunately little A's head was still so high up, they figured it would probably take quite awhile to work its way down. Boy, were they right!
3pm it started to get "busy" in the maternity ward. I didn't exactly understand (coming from a first delivery in Utah) how 12 ladies in labor was considered busy, but my nurse (all of whom were much older than I thought possible, aren't you supposed to be retired once you can't really hear your patients?) recommended I go ahead and get my epidural before things started to get really uncomfortable and the anesthesiologists got too busy. They had Mr. D leave the room for 30 minutes (that didn't happen last time with little d) and a cute little Indian lady read me my rights and placed my epidural. I guess I only remember the epidural from the c-section because I thought it was weird to still be able to move my legs, even if they did feel a little heavier than usual. Even weirder to be getting my epidural placed when I wasn't even feeling contractions, although I was supposedly getting quite a few, three minutes apart on average. I thought it was odd that they didn't put in a catheter but somehow I was able to hold in my bladder except for the times they put in a temporary catheter to empty my bladder.
4:30pm came and went and finally someone came in to check my cervix for the first time since when I checked in. Still a "1". They thought maybe it was because they kept having to empty my bladder so they put in a permanent catheter and I was left with a popsicle for the next two hours. I was starving! STARVING. I would have done anything for some food, ANY food. The commercials during a Friends marathon kept me salivating, while mentally making a checklist of all the food I was going to eat once this was all said and over with.
6:30pm two hours had passed since I had seen a nurse and I was only a 2. A TWO! THAT's IT?! I desperately asked for and received another popsicle and somehow caught a glimpse of a paper that informed me only siblings 14 years and older who had the flu shot were allowed in the maternity ward. I lost it. I had been away from my baby boy for going on seven hours and now they were going to tell me he wasn't allowed to come visit me?!?! Tears were pouring down my cheeks and I no longer cared about that stupid popsicle, I just wanted to be home with little d. As grateful as I was that Mr. D was able to be by my side that day, he wasn't the one I spent just about 24/7 with, and I felt that piece of my heart was missing. Would I ever see him again!? Gosh, it hurt so bad. Mr. D saw me getting hysterical and was quick to ask a nurse about visitations and she assured him little d would be allowed in, that this was a family friendly hospital. Crisis averted.
7pm the pitocin really started kicking in and I could feel the contractions but they were still not nearly even remotely close to what I had with little d before being admitted to the hospital last time. We started watching the Red Sox game and I realized I had not watched this much TV in a really long time; I was starting to get sick of it already.
7:20pm I gave myself my first shot of epidural...for those of you who don't know, when they put it in your spine you get a constant dose of it, and then you can get a little extra if you push a button. I was able to call little d and he spoke with me for a few minutes. He was on the ipad (no surprise there) but he was happy, having taken a long nap that afternoon and then being able to play with his uncle and grandparents. I was relieved and told him to enjoy his sleepover and that I would see him tomorrow, hoping and praying that I was telling him the truth. I got a new nurse, Darlene, and fell in love with her instantly. She referred to little A by name and was never shy about pronouncing how well she was doing during the contractions. Darlene would become my best friend before her shift was through.
8:30pm even while switching from multiple sitcoms to the Red Sox and Celtics game, I could not be distracted enough to notice the pain from the contractions. I had been moved multiple times in a couple different positions to "even out" the epidural but all I could feel were my contractions, and all I could NOT feel were my dead weight legs. I got another popsicle.
9, 9:30, 9:45... my will to only push the button every half hour was waning. It seemed like the drugs were pooling in my dead legs and nothing was stopping the pain I felt from the contractions. By 10pm Darlene wants me to sleep and so she calls in the anesthesiologist to give me a little boost on my dose.
11pm I continue to drug myself, the pain only getting worse as I find I am having to use some serious focus and yoga breath to keep from moaning out loud. They bring Mr. D a cot and he eventually falls asleep, not bothering to set his alarm for work (7am) the next day since we are pretty sure that with the severity of my contractions and how long we have been there, baby girl should be out within a few hours.
2am rolls around and I am LIVID. It takes everything in my power to take 10 slow, deep, focused breaths to get through each contraction. I can't focus on anything else but that clock, willing those 40 seconds to go faster so I can again find relief. You know that pain scale they show you at the hospital? I was maybe a 1 or 2 when I came in, and this was a 10...as in OMG THIS IS THE MOST AMOUNT OF PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.... IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO DIE? CAN IT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE THAN THIS??
By 3:30 am Mr. D is snoring beside me and I am trying not to have a panic attack. I have never had to deal with so much pain and all I can think of is that I need to let my body relax and do its job so this hellish torment can be over with as fast as possible. With every contraction, every breath was focused on relaxing my muscles, envisioning baby girl working her way down the birth canal. Darlene kept reminding me how well little A was doing through each contraction...she was even sleeping through some of them! Having had my first c-section in large part because of fetal distress, this was the best thing I could have heard.
at 4am, Darlene couldn't wait any longer. She had me checked (I was only a "4", I still had a long way to go!) and then she chased down (literally!!) the anesthesiologist and we made the decision to take out the first epidural and put in a new one. He reminded me (mid-contraction of course) that if the first one didn't work there was a possibility this second one wouldn't work as well. I wanted to scream and run and pull my hair out and cry but instead I just nodded and kept breathing, focusing on Darlene's hands holding mine and continuing to encourage me by telling me how relaxed and poised I was. By some small miracle we were able to get a second epidural placed and within 30 minutes I was drug from hell and put back in heaven again. I felt pressure but no pain.
4:30am I finally fell asleep and it was the best hour of sleep of my life... I had been awake nearly 22 hours!
5:30am I woke up with a start. I waited a few minutes to be sure but there was definitely pressure on my bum... I was feeling a serious need to push! Having not been checked for hours (I guess that is protocol when your water breaks, to minimize the chances of infection), I was elated when she announced that while I was having a contraction she could feel Little A's head! WHAT?! I woke up Mr. D, pulled up my legs and started pushing with each contraction. I joked with my nurse Darlene that we would have this baby out by the end of her 7:30 shift and she swore she would not leave my side until she saw baby girl.
6:15am after nurses telling Mr. D to look down there to see his baby girl's head during contractions, I couldn't wait any longer. I sprang at the change to get a mirror down there and surprised myself by not just being fascinated but being motivated with each push to see that little head crowning inside my body. I couldn't believe it (and this coming from a person who swore she would rather die than 1) have her husband even peeking down there while she was in labor and 2) have to witness herself the horror of a baby wrecking her lady bits). This was absolutely amazing and when a few interns who were about to graduate in a few weeks and had never seen a vaginal delivery showed up and wanted to watch, I surprised myself and welcomed them to watch, along with about a half dozen other strangers. the interns, two girls who reminded me of my own sisters, were sweet and helped keep me cool in between pushes, and got the camera ready so Mr. D could do more watching than videoing.
7am I was doing this. I was laboring and about to have a vaginal delivery. I could feel things being stretched in ways I never wanted them to be but none of that mattered; I was about to meet my daughter. I knew my body in such an intimate way as I had never known it before. I thought I knew my body when I ran the marathon last year, but this year was even different, better perhaps because I felt so close to my Savior, my Heavenly Father, and the moment I pushed her out and heard "7:11 am!" I knew I had just caught a glimpse of heaven. As they brought little A to my arms, wet with fluids and warm to my chest, I was so overwhelmed with love. Love for Mr. D. Love for my daughter, and son, even if he wasn't there. Love for Darlene and everyone else who helped coach me to this point. I was so unbelievably happy. Even as they stitched me back up from my second degree tears, I was still on cloud nine.
I did it. I got my VBAC after all.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
The princess has arrived!!
Annabelle Aida Dowling born via VBAC April 11, 2013 at 7:11 am after almost 24 hours of labor. 7 pounds 8 ounces (her big brother was 7.15!). She is perfect and we are so in love! Details and many more pictures to come soon.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Tender mercies
I woke up just before 5 this morning in a total paranoid panic I can't describe. A wasn't moving, and I tried moving around to make her uncomfortable and... Nothing. Which is only odd because she's usually the reason I can't go back to sleep after my 3-5am bathroom break. Now her lack of movement was the reason why I was tossing and turning for an hour waiting for something, anything. I finally gave up at 6 and went to eat some of little d's fruit snacks, then just started reading to get my mind off of the lack of movement. Close to 7, I was thisclose to calling the doctor (the talk of my planned ultrasound for Monday to "check on my placenta and make sure it isn't going bad" may have been on my mind?) and baby girl started going wild right around the time little d woke up.
I've never been so grateful for my two babies. I can't believe we lucked out with little d and it feels a little like hitting the lottery twice to even think about adding our daughter to our family. The Lord has blessed us so richly and sometimes it takes panicky moments in our lives to make us realize just how wonderful our lives truly are. And baby girl has not stopped moving since this morning. :)
I've never been so grateful for my two babies. I can't believe we lucked out with little d and it feels a little like hitting the lottery twice to even think about adding our daughter to our family. The Lord has blessed us so richly and sometimes it takes panicky moments in our lives to make us realize just how wonderful our lives truly are. And baby girl has not stopped moving since this morning. :)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
"Are we there yet?!" Aka 39 weeks pregnant with #2
+33.5 and ready to burst!
I've decided to do stuff every day with little d that would probably be a bit more difficult with a baby in tow... Pre-nap Mother-son dates, if you will. Yesterday was pouring rain so instead of playing baseball we went to the mall and alternated our time running around people, hopping over floor outlets, and racing up and down the escalators. Today was a lunch out and some reading time at a local bookstore. Maybe I will get a museum pass for tomorrow or Thursday since we haven't been to one in ages.
Next and hopefully last dr appointment is tomorrow. I've been having irregular contractions and some back pain since yesterday to accompany my recently swelling feet and ankles; nothing to really worry myself about since I am working out, lifting, raking, cleaning, doing everything in my power to make my womb as uncomfortable as possible. Boot camp was brutal with burpees and sooooo many push-ups but hopefully I won't be back next week. Baby girl is moving around like crazy still (making things more uncomfortable since in the last two days she has dropped down "below the belt" so to speak) and I am aching to get this labor and delivery business over with. I could not be more ready. Okay maybe I could if I really do go till the date of my csection in two weeks... But by then I may be opening a baby boutique with all the bows skirts and onesies I've been making. Also i know i was bigger with little d but at this point i do not think my skin can stretch anymore or that my bellybutton could be pointing any further south!!
I've been achy, exhausted and sleep deprived for the last month... Knock on wood but I think I'm ready. Come on out and show your face, baby girl!!! We are all so eager to meet you!
I've decided to do stuff every day with little d that would probably be a bit more difficult with a baby in tow... Pre-nap Mother-son dates, if you will. Yesterday was pouring rain so instead of playing baseball we went to the mall and alternated our time running around people, hopping over floor outlets, and racing up and down the escalators. Today was a lunch out and some reading time at a local bookstore. Maybe I will get a museum pass for tomorrow or Thursday since we haven't been to one in ages.
Next and hopefully last dr appointment is tomorrow. I've been having irregular contractions and some back pain since yesterday to accompany my recently swelling feet and ankles; nothing to really worry myself about since I am working out, lifting, raking, cleaning, doing everything in my power to make my womb as uncomfortable as possible. Boot camp was brutal with burpees and sooooo many push-ups but hopefully I won't be back next week. Baby girl is moving around like crazy still (making things more uncomfortable since in the last two days she has dropped down "below the belt" so to speak) and I am aching to get this labor and delivery business over with. I could not be more ready. Okay maybe I could if I really do go till the date of my csection in two weeks... But by then I may be opening a baby boutique with all the bows skirts and onesies I've been making. Also i know i was bigger with little d but at this point i do not think my skin can stretch anymore or that my bellybutton could be pointing any further south!!
I've been achy, exhausted and sleep deprived for the last month... Knock on wood but I think I'm ready. Come on out and show your face, baby girl!!! We are all so eager to meet you!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Tickled pink
I remember being done with teaching with about two months left till my due date with little d and some sweet friends of mine from the ward we had only been living in for four months offered to throw me a shower... My sisters had already thrown me a shower a month earlier and pregnancy was exhausting so I politely declined.
This time around with no sisters to throw me a shower, my visiting teachers offered to throw me a shower three weeks before my due date (this time we had also only been in the ward about four months) and I happily accepted. While I was worried I would be too tired to enjoy it, they kept it really simple (one getting to know you game so I could learn more about the ladies in my ward, food and gifts) and I had a really good time.
Since I had an early morning doctors appointment (dilated to a 1, same as I was the last time with little d), I didn't make it to the gym for the second day in a row and was super low on energy. Getting Concessa's quilt and then getting a plethora of gifts that evening was exactly what I needed to get excited about out upcoming arrival.
This time around with no sisters to throw me a shower, my visiting teachers offered to throw me a shower three weeks before my due date (this time we had also only been in the ward about four months) and I happily accepted. While I was worried I would be too tired to enjoy it, they kept it really simple (one getting to know you game so I could learn more about the ladies in my ward, food and gifts) and I had a really good time.
Since I had an early morning doctors appointment (dilated to a 1, same as I was the last time with little d), I didn't make it to the gym for the second day in a row and was super low on energy. Getting Concessa's quilt and then getting a plethora of gifts that evening was exactly what I needed to get excited about out upcoming arrival.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Beautiful words borrowed from Baby Making Mama Jenn
Ever since I started reading Jenn's blog years ago, before either of us even got pregnant, I have been absolutely enamoured with her honest and witty writing style. Mr. D went through the same Communications program at BYU with her, and I loved how what she wrote really matched what I met in real life. Her blog was my comfort and sanity during the year I was pregnant and working and then as a first time mom working full time because she was going through the same thing. It's been sort of fun to be pregnant now for the second time, at the same time as her and to know that we are preparing our only child for a huge (sometimes scary) transition. She is a huge success in my eyes to be able to balance work and home life, and it amazes me that so much of what she says about her daughter resonates with me (as a not so proficient writer) and feels like they could be my words if I could only formulate them as well as she does. That's what I get for being an art education major instead of a communications major. You can find this post here on her blog, and I hope she doesn't mind but I wanted to copy it on my blog for my own personal memory bank, appropriately titled "Her days as an only child are numbered." (except of course, in the masculine as usual the pictures are all mine, memories from photobooth). I cry every time I read this. You've been warned.
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I sat down with an empty fabric bin and asked if she’d like to put some of her toys in the box for the new baby.
“Yea!” She told me enthusiastically. Not a bit of hesitation.
I helped her pull down one of her own toy baskets and dug through, offering suggestions.
“How about this little Elmo?”
“Yea!”
“And Earnie?”
She looked at him in my hand for a moment before grabbing him and placing him in the baby’s bin.
She took it from there, adding an etcha sketch, some of her baby dolls, and her camera “So he can take pictures of me,” she told me with a grin. I didn’t have the heart to tell her those toys weren’t quite age appropriate, but the baby won’t know any different. And it’s the thought that counts.
My sweet, caring, and empathetic child loaded her toys then carried it to the baby’s room.
“Thank you baby,” I told her. Using a nickname I may soon need to rethink. “That was really nice of you to share your toys.”
“Thanks mommy,” she smiled back at me. So grown. I took her hand and we walked back to her room to play with a new toy I had gotten just for her.
These are the last few weeks of just she and I. The final moments of her only-childness. She seems ready, excited, and continues to ask me “when is he’s coming out?”, but I can sense her feelings of coming change, and I’m hanging on to the present with her.
My once seemingly independent child now looks back at me to make sure I’m still in the room when she’s at gymnastics. She asks for extra hugs when I drop her off at school, some times she even cries when I leave. She wants me to carry her places, and sit on my lap (what’s left of it) while she watches TV, plays with a toy, eats, or anything! I can’t deny her that though, because I know soon, she’ll be sharing my lap with her sibling.
My daughter has been the center of my world the last three years. Even before she was born, I couldn’t wait to get pregnant, I was THRILLED when I found out she was a girl, and she has literally changed my life.
First of all, how does a second child compete with that? I mean, I’m sure it’s something I just can’t imagine–just like I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to love a child of my own in the first place–but sharing that love with two kids seems, well… Kind of impossible right now.
People tell me your heart grows, and I picture the Grinch, when his heart grows three times in size. Of course it’s not that literal, but I’d bet it must feel something like that, when you watch as your first child meets your second.
Miss J has gone through a series of changes in preperation for the new baby: New bed, new dresser, seeing new baby swings and seats arive, watching me unpack and prepare clothes clearly too small for her, and she’s taking it all very well. She knows she’s going to be a big sister “like Dora!” she tells me. And I think she’s ready. At least as ready as she’s going to be.
But since her days as an only child are numbered, I’m soaking up every last moment. Holding her more than I’d normally hang on, letting her sit on me longer than is really comfortable, and hugging and kissing her… Well, as much as usual. Because soon, the hundreds of kisses she gets a day will be divided by two.
Sharing her toys doesn’t seem to be a problem, but I hope she will be ok sharing her mom.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Running 2 miles at 35 weeks in 30 minutes
Well, I can still run... Sort of. I start off walking and bump up the mph when I feel good, lowering to a walk when the belly gets too uncomfortable. 2 miles is now my limit. I still have a little bit of back pain/discomfort occasionally from sciatica (not stretching enough) coming from my right backside but usually just from going from a sitting to standing position too quickly. My ribcage has adjusted to the growing and stretching and thankfully I only have a little bit of muscle pain under my back left side of my ribcage when laying on my back... Which doesn't happen very often if you can imagine.
My weeks cycle through days where I feel great and super productive and days where I am so exhausted I don't do much of anything, there's not too much in between. Eating usually feels like a chore, not because I feel too full like my last few weeks with little d, but because I'm just too lazy to want to whip anything up... The pumpkin cc muffins I have in the freezer have been devoured faster than I've wanted them to be (not to mention the banana cc muffins in my inlaws freezer), so I suppose I need to start freezing some healthier muffins.
The constant cold has led me to about a mug of hot cocoa a day, sometimes two. The "no more pants" phase lasted all of about two days, it's just too cold to have bare legs in this house, not to mention outside. My stomach is big enough that the secret fit belly band that is supposed to wrap up over my belly button and keep my pants up slips down the moment I put it on, which is such a pain. I really need to invest in some decent looking sweatpants or else just stay in the house in my pjs. I was reminded today why I don't really like going out in my last month... All those questions from people assuming you're going to pop "any day now" get to be a bit of a bother.
False labor pains are back, a terrible reminder of what's to come. The only thing scarier than being pregnant forever for me is how this whole labor and delivery thing is going to pan out for me. Oh and figuring out life with an infant and and ever needy toddler... Should be interesting.
My weeks cycle through days where I feel great and super productive and days where I am so exhausted I don't do much of anything, there's not too much in between. Eating usually feels like a chore, not because I feel too full like my last few weeks with little d, but because I'm just too lazy to want to whip anything up... The pumpkin cc muffins I have in the freezer have been devoured faster than I've wanted them to be (not to mention the banana cc muffins in my inlaws freezer), so I suppose I need to start freezing some healthier muffins.
The constant cold has led me to about a mug of hot cocoa a day, sometimes two. The "no more pants" phase lasted all of about two days, it's just too cold to have bare legs in this house, not to mention outside. My stomach is big enough that the secret fit belly band that is supposed to wrap up over my belly button and keep my pants up slips down the moment I put it on, which is such a pain. I really need to invest in some decent looking sweatpants or else just stay in the house in my pjs. I was reminded today why I don't really like going out in my last month... All those questions from people assuming you're going to pop "any day now" get to be a bit of a bother.
False labor pains are back, a terrible reminder of what's to come. The only thing scarier than being pregnant forever for me is how this whole labor and delivery thing is going to pan out for me. Oh and figuring out life with an infant and and ever needy toddler... Should be interesting.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
33 weeks pregnant with #2 and great expectations
The past two weeks have been pretty brutal. My cold went from bad to terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-AWFUL where I was up every hour of the night coughing up who knows what, could barely speak during the daytime and was overall exhausted. Mr. D still has a lingering cough (we all got sick roughly around the same time at the end of January), and poor little d is finally on his last doses of pink medication for his bronchitis. Fingers crossed the worst is over and we can go back to normalcy, instead of my daytime pajama-wear, not necessarily showering daily, and general disregard for anything and everything of importance. Lack of sleep and structure (working out at the gym) will do that to me. Not to mention being hit with a storm of false labor contractions as a result of all the intense coughing.
The above swimsuit pic was when I was 7 weeks along, and on the right with 7 weeks remaining.
+27 this week... I cannot begin to imagine how uncomfortable that +40 was at this time back in 2010. Yeesh.
Between the mucus buildup in my body, and the growing fetus inside of my body, most nights during the multiple times I woke up I felt completely suffocated. While waking up EVERY SINGLE hour one night, and feeling completely exhausted and generally crappy the next day (not to mention unmotivated to do anything), I got to thinking, "Why me? Why now?" and it struck me... the 31 weeks prior in my pregnancy, I had been nonstop go-go-go and while I was getting bigger, I was still able to do 99.9% of what I was doing before I got pregnant. Picking up a toddler? No problem. Hauling 20 bags of groceries in one shot? No big deal. This cold was (in my opinion), the only way that I was possibly going to slow down a bit. Not that it prevented me from doing a little crazy nesting, but overall it was a good taste of what life was going to be like in two months.
Fast forward to today. All the coughing and contracting has my ribcage hurting in a way only a waaaay too-tight bra can compare (again, a suffocating feeling), and I am pretty sure that I pulled a muscle right below my left ribcage during my prenatal valentine massage, which still makes lifting certain things a little painful. I can't carry little d every time he requests it... most days I can't manage to carry him at all. And of course the latter bothers me the most of all because that is what I was hoping to prolong by working out so much. I wanted to be able to do everything for my toddler so that he wouldn't notice a difference, but the fact is, I AM changing and our family will be changing very soon and I need to let him grow up a little. As much as I love holding him or snuggling him on my lap, I am running out of space in my frontside/lap! Kisses, hugs, and bellyrubs will have to do for now.
Now about those great expectations.
I had a few ladies at the gym tell me how they are "sooooo excited" to see me post-baby because they just "know" how quickly I will be back to my normal self. Um that's when it's a good thing that I moved to a new ward, neighborhood and gym when 5 months pregnant, I suppose... because they don't know what the "before" is supposed to look like. I, however, do, and unfortunately also happen to be my own biggest critic (aren't we all?). So here's how it went down the last go-around.
I had a c-section. Came home after a week in the hospital weighing just as much as when I went in, super bloated and uncomfortable. Two weeks later I finally manned up enough to weigh myself and was delighted to see a 20 pound weight loss, especially after not doing anything for the last three weeks. Week 4 hit and I was getting antsy, but realizing I needed two more weeks to fully recover I waited to hit the gym until week 6, per doctor's orders. Coming back into the gym and onto the treadmill was worse than I expected. Like, 20 minute miles and I was exhausted. Thankfully with a little prodding from some family members, I "ran" a 6k at about 10 weeks post partum and felt pretty awesome about the fact that I (1) didn't die, and (2) didn't stop moving till I crossed the finish line. I dropped all the baby weight right around 8 months postpartum, which coincided with when I stopped pumping, and as a result of continuing to eat like I was nursing, I gained 5-10 pounds that stuck with my until after the marathon at just shy of 2 years postpartum, when I got my nutrition back on track and was finally back to my pre-pregnancy weight again...for a few weeks until I started gaining weight due to pregnancy #2. I could say that I was working full time during the first year and that was why I didn't lose the weight faster, but the fact is that I planned out working out (and was pretty diligent at it at least 4 days a week at 5 am!) and didn't plan out the nutrition properly.
This time around, I feel a little bit more knowledgeable in the nutrition sector, if for no other reason than I have a toddler who I am trying to be a good example for (and whatever I eat, typically he ends up eating). Which will hopefully come in handy since my brother in law has decided to get married just barely six weeks after Little A is due. Umm.... kind of a big deal. I know these pictures will turn into Christmas card fodder and the fact that I will most likely have to be in them is a bit of a challenge. Thankfully, I will have a six week old I will be proudly toting (and nobody had better take her away from me) in front of my sure-to-be-still-bulging belly, so for now that is my main strategy for not looking like a big white whale next to my tanned, waif-like, soon-to-be-sister-in-law. As much as I want to just "bounce back" to the gym, I know that just like going from no children to one, the one to two adjustment will be just as hard, if not harder because I have two littles to take up my time and energy.
So to answer the question I am sure you are dying to ask, yes I have big expectations for myself. I would like to lose all the weight I have gained before I turn 28 in November, not to mention to tone up and start training for a marathon to run in early 2014. But I am not a celebrity and do not have a personal chef and nanny and trainer so these things may take a big longer than I am anticipating. But what I am going to focus on is soaking up every moment of those first six weeks where instead of workouts and weight loss I will be enjoying all my time with my children and making sure they become the best of friends, with me and their dad as well as each other. Not being employed outside the home and having my inlaws nearby will hopefully allow me time to count my blessings, and maybe even get a shower in every other day. Springtime is all about rebirth, which is something that I found terribly appealing in having an April baby.
While there is still so much I worry about, like will she.... (be allergic to Kevs, cry a lot, have reflux, not weigh enough, not nurse well, not take a bottle at all, always want to be held, etc).... at least I know one thing for certain is to expect the unexpected. And to celebrate the little victories. Which is why I will be (much to my astonishment, I am sure) photographing myself in the same bikini I used to document my pre-baby weight, right after birth, and then every 7 weeks after that. I regretted not doing something similar last time (even just for myself) because even though people around me saw changes, I did not... I couldn't enjoy my post-partum progress because I was too wrapped up in comparing myself to the person I was before I got pregnant. So this time around I will be celebrating the little victories, regardless of how long it takes to get to my ultimate goal. Maybe I will share the pictures, and maybe I won't, but either way I know I can use it as a measuring stick for myself, and hopefully inspire others to take pregnancy and post-partum-dom as a challenge instead of an excuse. Because what fun is life if we don't challenge ourselves every once in awhile?
The above swimsuit pic was when I was 7 weeks along, and on the right with 7 weeks remaining.
+27 this week... I cannot begin to imagine how uncomfortable that +40 was at this time back in 2010. Yeesh.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
To my baby girl,
I wrote your big brother a letter at 31 weeks so I am a little behind but I wanted to still share some of my thoughts with you. You have got to be one of the luckiest girls ever... Coming into our little family where you will certainly be adored, fawned over and fiercely cared for by your parents, big brother, and extended family members. Your big brother was blessed to have his aunts and uncles nearby for the better part of his first year of life, and you have the privilege of both grandparents within a day's drive.
I was terrified to think that I was going to have a little girl. Terrified, mixed of course with elation in thinking about little painted toenails, pierced ears, shopping trips, and cute little girly outfits. Growing up as a teenager there was such a monstrosity of things that concerned me: modesty, dating, "mean girls", bullying, eating disorders... the list could go on forever. I thought those things were bad when I was young and then teaching high school a few years after graduating, I was shocked to see how much worse the world had become. I feel so blessed to have met your father at the ripe young age of 19, which I think without a shadow of a doubt was done to protect me from so many evils of the world. He is an enormous blessing in my life, as I am sure you will find out, and has helped me to become the sort of mother and wife I could only dream to be. I never worried about your little brother growing up to be like his dad, but it scares me to think of a little "mini me" looking up to me. Would I be able to be up to the task? There were quite a few nights before I found out you would be my baby girl that I laid awake in bed, crying, fearful for the future and what kind of example I could possibly be. I had my mind completely set that I could only have sons, that I would not be strong enough to raise a daughter.
Then I did something I should have done right when I started feeling those little inklings of fear and doubt: I said a prayer. Within minutes, I knew. I knew Heavenly Father had prepared you for me and me for you these last few years that you were willing and ready to greet this world head-on. You will have something I never had and always wished I did: a big brother to protect you. And that is why no matter how big my shortcomings seem, between he and your dad, they will easily make up for my weaknesses. Of course there will be many mistakes and heartbreaks along the way, but as long as I do my very best in raising you in the gospel, I know I have no need to fear.
You are coming into our lives at quite an exciting time in our little family's existence. Your brother is counting down the days until he gets to meet you, we live in a new state in a new home than when we did when we had your brother. Where we will be in a year from now, only time will tell but for now I am content in knowing that you and your brother and your father will be by my sides and that is all that matters in this life to me.
I can't wait till you get here. As hard as it is, thinking about sharing my life with someone in addition to your father and your brother, who are my entire world right now, I think you and I will get along just fine. There is truly something to be said for the bond between mothers and daughters. I can only hope you will be healthy, happy, and that we can do all within our power to make way for the presence of our little daughter of God. I can already tell you are going to be such a special part of our lives, and an essential component to our family.
I love you more that I can even say, from the moment I saw that plus sign to the moment I first felt you kicking me, to the moment I first saw your lovely face and dainty fingers, my love for you has continued to blossom. I am so grateful and feel so blessed to have you as my daughter. Now keep cooking for two more months and we can both hope your labor and delivery is a little bit less eventful (and stressful) than your brother's.
54 more days!
I was terrified to think that I was going to have a little girl. Terrified, mixed of course with elation in thinking about little painted toenails, pierced ears, shopping trips, and cute little girly outfits. Growing up as a teenager there was such a monstrosity of things that concerned me: modesty, dating, "mean girls", bullying, eating disorders... the list could go on forever. I thought those things were bad when I was young and then teaching high school a few years after graduating, I was shocked to see how much worse the world had become. I feel so blessed to have met your father at the ripe young age of 19, which I think without a shadow of a doubt was done to protect me from so many evils of the world. He is an enormous blessing in my life, as I am sure you will find out, and has helped me to become the sort of mother and wife I could only dream to be. I never worried about your little brother growing up to be like his dad, but it scares me to think of a little "mini me" looking up to me. Would I be able to be up to the task? There were quite a few nights before I found out you would be my baby girl that I laid awake in bed, crying, fearful for the future and what kind of example I could possibly be. I had my mind completely set that I could only have sons, that I would not be strong enough to raise a daughter.
Then I did something I should have done right when I started feeling those little inklings of fear and doubt: I said a prayer. Within minutes, I knew. I knew Heavenly Father had prepared you for me and me for you these last few years that you were willing and ready to greet this world head-on. You will have something I never had and always wished I did: a big brother to protect you. And that is why no matter how big my shortcomings seem, between he and your dad, they will easily make up for my weaknesses. Of course there will be many mistakes and heartbreaks along the way, but as long as I do my very best in raising you in the gospel, I know I have no need to fear.
You are coming into our lives at quite an exciting time in our little family's existence. Your brother is counting down the days until he gets to meet you, we live in a new state in a new home than when we did when we had your brother. Where we will be in a year from now, only time will tell but for now I am content in knowing that you and your brother and your father will be by my sides and that is all that matters in this life to me.
I can't wait till you get here. As hard as it is, thinking about sharing my life with someone in addition to your father and your brother, who are my entire world right now, I think you and I will get along just fine. There is truly something to be said for the bond between mothers and daughters. I can only hope you will be healthy, happy, and that we can do all within our power to make way for the presence of our little daughter of God. I can already tell you are going to be such a special part of our lives, and an essential component to our family.
I love you more that I can even say, from the moment I saw that plus sign to the moment I first felt you kicking me, to the moment I first saw your lovely face and dainty fingers, my love for you has continued to blossom. I am so grateful and feel so blessed to have you as my daughter. Now keep cooking for two more months and we can both hope your labor and delivery is a little bit less eventful (and stressful) than your brother's.
54 more days!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
32 weeks pregnant with #2
And the facts of this pregnancy thus far:
1. A bakery outlet has recently been discovered by yours truly across the street from my gym. This could be a problem.
2. I didn't care with the first pregnancy if people touched my stomach. This round I think it's just weird so if you're not little d or mr. D... Keep your hands away from my belly please.
3. Still don't really like guacamole but am back to loving avocados.
4. 90% of my life I am in workout clothes or pajamas, no makeup, hair in ponytail. The other 10% is what you see on this blog.
5. Working out daily is keeping me sane.
6. Sometimes I let little d watch curious George just so we have an excuse to drink hot cocoa or get donuts (two things George loves).
7. I can't stand my house being dirty or unorganized.
8. My belly button is uber sensitive. I remember that happening last time too.
9. I wear the same workout capris every day. They are the last ones that fit.
10. My ankles are starting to swell.
11. So far I am 2 for 2 in having pregnancies where my child only likes for me to lay on my left side. During labor with little d, his heart rate would plummet any time I would lay on my right side, and this pregnancy, baby A seems to kick and put up a huge fight if I dare to lay on my right side. So I shift/roll whale style back over to my left side where she continues to move but in a more peaceful/content way.
12. Being sick with a cold weeks 30-32 has made it the 2nd worst week of my pregnancy thus far (first being the Taco Bell food poisoning episode on Halloween)... I have zero energy to do anything.
13. The smell of chicken still occasionally nauseates me.
14. I haven't fainted this pregnancy (yay!).
15. My skin is so so very dry all the time. And aside from my face I still fail to use lotion to make it less itchy.
16. Little d only taking one hour naps has started to freak me out a little bit. Until I remember that I only have two months of sleeping through the night left for awhile as well.
17. I haven't properly consistently (more than three nights in a row) slept through the night all pregnancy. Insomnia and a small bladder are to thank for that.
18. My hair and nails are not growing as fast this pregnancy, the former of which I am supremely bummed about because I miss my long hair!
19. I love chocolate so much.
20. And dunkin donuts. Probably too much since little d will ask why we aren't stopping to get a donut every time we are together just the two of us in the car. I think I've started a dangerous habit.
21. Also loving sugared cereals (although always coupled with Cheerios or some other equally healthy cereal).
22. And macaroni and cheese. Only having to share with a toddler prevents me from singlehandedly eating the whole box myself.
23. Kevs curled up on my stomach for the first time this pregnancy and I almost cried it made me so happy. He did this all the time when I was pregnant with little d and I was starting to worry he hated me.
24. If you can't tell from #23, I am super emotional this pregnancy. Anything can make me upset or make me cry.
25. Busted out the bra extenders at week 31.... I can finally breathe again.
26. I am so so grateful for my incredible inlaws, who help us (me) out all the time and watch little d while I shuttle around to doctors appointments in Boston, which would be been infinitely more difficult with a toddler toted on my hip.
27. Little d LOVES for me to carry him. When did this happen?! Sometime between Christmas and February, web I ask him to put on his shoes he will matter of factly reply, "oh, mommy carry me."
28. Carrying a 33 pound toddler works best in between my chest and the 26 pound belly bump. True story.
29. Mr. D's unexpected back massages always come at the perfect time.
30. I remember thinking I would not be satisfied until little d had every coordinating piece of his nursery purchased and displayed. With this pregnancy, I will be thrilled if I can find a yellow or grey fitted sheet for the crib. And maybe a few blankets that aren't covered in blue baseballs.
31. I also went overkill in the clothing department, buying bags of 0-12mo clothes off of ksl. Since I no longer have that luxury, I've been buying little bits and pieces at a time. Eventually I'll make my way into taking inventory of what I have and what I still need for each age and stage, but for now I am more concerned about our lack of changing table. OMIGOSH WE DON'T HAVE A CHANGING TABLE YET.
32. When I first got pregnant with baby A I wasn't quite sure if I would be running another marathon anytime soon. A half seemed good enough. After inadvertently driving the Boston marathon route multiple times in the last week to get to my inlaws or to a doctors appointment, those marathon emotions are very much rising to the surface and I can guarantee that I will be running a second marathon before I get pregnant with #3.
33. Did I mention that even at seven months pregnant I am still considering a #3 and maybe even #4?! With little d I thought, THIS COULD BE IT. OUR ONLY CHILD. Not so much this time around. Maybe having more friends with multiple kids is helping that a little bit. All I know for now is that while baby A will for the moment complete our family, I have a feeling we aren't done yet.
34. None of my shirts fit anymore. And my feet swell at the sight of socks. Wearing a swimsuit and flip flops all day was much easier the last time around....
35. 25 pounds, of which only 4 pounds 5 ounces are baby. :)
1. A bakery outlet has recently been discovered by yours truly across the street from my gym. This could be a problem.
2. I didn't care with the first pregnancy if people touched my stomach. This round I think it's just weird so if you're not little d or mr. D... Keep your hands away from my belly please.
3. Still don't really like guacamole but am back to loving avocados.
4. 90% of my life I am in workout clothes or pajamas, no makeup, hair in ponytail. The other 10% is what you see on this blog.
5. Working out daily is keeping me sane.
6. Sometimes I let little d watch curious George just so we have an excuse to drink hot cocoa or get donuts (two things George loves).
7. I can't stand my house being dirty or unorganized.
8. My belly button is uber sensitive. I remember that happening last time too.
9. I wear the same workout capris every day. They are the last ones that fit.
10. My ankles are starting to swell.
11. So far I am 2 for 2 in having pregnancies where my child only likes for me to lay on my left side. During labor with little d, his heart rate would plummet any time I would lay on my right side, and this pregnancy, baby A seems to kick and put up a huge fight if I dare to lay on my right side. So I shift/roll whale style back over to my left side where she continues to move but in a more peaceful/content way.
12. Being sick with a cold weeks 30-32 has made it the 2nd worst week of my pregnancy thus far (first being the Taco Bell food poisoning episode on Halloween)... I have zero energy to do anything.
13. The smell of chicken still occasionally nauseates me.
14. I haven't fainted this pregnancy (yay!).
15. My skin is so so very dry all the time. And aside from my face I still fail to use lotion to make it less itchy.
16. Little d only taking one hour naps has started to freak me out a little bit. Until I remember that I only have two months of sleeping through the night left for awhile as well.
17. I haven't properly consistently (more than three nights in a row) slept through the night all pregnancy. Insomnia and a small bladder are to thank for that.
18. My hair and nails are not growing as fast this pregnancy, the former of which I am supremely bummed about because I miss my long hair!
19. I love chocolate so much.
20. And dunkin donuts. Probably too much since little d will ask why we aren't stopping to get a donut every time we are together just the two of us in the car. I think I've started a dangerous habit.
21. Also loving sugared cereals (although always coupled with Cheerios or some other equally healthy cereal).
22. And macaroni and cheese. Only having to share with a toddler prevents me from singlehandedly eating the whole box myself.
23. Kevs curled up on my stomach for the first time this pregnancy and I almost cried it made me so happy. He did this all the time when I was pregnant with little d and I was starting to worry he hated me.
24. If you can't tell from #23, I am super emotional this pregnancy. Anything can make me upset or make me cry.
25. Busted out the bra extenders at week 31.... I can finally breathe again.
26. I am so so grateful for my incredible inlaws, who help us (me) out all the time and watch little d while I shuttle around to doctors appointments in Boston, which would be been infinitely more difficult with a toddler toted on my hip.
27. Little d LOVES for me to carry him. When did this happen?! Sometime between Christmas and February, web I ask him to put on his shoes he will matter of factly reply, "oh, mommy carry me."
28. Carrying a 33 pound toddler works best in between my chest and the 26 pound belly bump. True story.
29. Mr. D's unexpected back massages always come at the perfect time.
30. I remember thinking I would not be satisfied until little d had every coordinating piece of his nursery purchased and displayed. With this pregnancy, I will be thrilled if I can find a yellow or grey fitted sheet for the crib. And maybe a few blankets that aren't covered in blue baseballs.
31. I also went overkill in the clothing department, buying bags of 0-12mo clothes off of ksl. Since I no longer have that luxury, I've been buying little bits and pieces at a time. Eventually I'll make my way into taking inventory of what I have and what I still need for each age and stage, but for now I am more concerned about our lack of changing table. OMIGOSH WE DON'T HAVE A CHANGING TABLE YET.
32. When I first got pregnant with baby A I wasn't quite sure if I would be running another marathon anytime soon. A half seemed good enough. After inadvertently driving the Boston marathon route multiple times in the last week to get to my inlaws or to a doctors appointment, those marathon emotions are very much rising to the surface and I can guarantee that I will be running a second marathon before I get pregnant with #3.
33. Did I mention that even at seven months pregnant I am still considering a #3 and maybe even #4?! With little d I thought, THIS COULD BE IT. OUR ONLY CHILD. Not so much this time around. Maybe having more friends with multiple kids is helping that a little bit. All I know for now is that while baby A will for the moment complete our family, I have a feeling we aren't done yet.
34. None of my shirts fit anymore. And my feet swell at the sight of socks. Wearing a swimsuit and flip flops all day was much easier the last time around....
35. 25 pounds, of which only 4 pounds 5 ounces are baby. :)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
30 weeks pregnant with #2
Only 10 weeks to go!
+26.5 (4 pounds in a week! i think thats a record this pregnancy... vs 35 last round) probably as a direct result of the monkey bread I made yesterday combined with the elaborate dinners we got taken out to by mr. D's coworkers. Also baby A is loving butter, carbs, chocolate, baked goods and everything full fat and flavorful. Sounds like the perfect girl, amirite?
+26.5 (4 pounds in a week! i think thats a record this pregnancy... vs 35 last round) probably as a direct result of the monkey bread I made yesterday combined with the elaborate dinners we got taken out to by mr. D's coworkers. Also baby A is loving butter, carbs, chocolate, baked goods and everything full fat and flavorful. Sounds like the perfect girl, amirite?
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
28 weeks pregnant with #2, Dr's appointment #7 and working out in the first two trimesters
I know it's probably not fair to compare these two pictures side by side but I am going to do it anyways. I don't know why in so many of my pregnancy photos with little d I had my arms down and around my belly but I am reversing that flabby arm trend this pregnancy. It was not an attractive way to pose for pictures and I refuse to do it this time around. End of story.
28 weeks feels good (and another doctor's visit came and went yesterday with nothing out of the ordinary, I have one ultrasound left for 32 weeks and other than that I see my doctor every two weeks now) and while some may say it is because I am carrying around a girl instead of a boy, I know it is because I am working out daily (yes, daily, go ahead and roll your eyes at me if you must) and I also don't have all the downtime I had the first time around to eat myself into a food coma and then sleep for hours on end. I have to actually be mostly awake between the hours of 6am and 8pm, chasing after a little tasmanian bundle of energy.
Quite a difference between gaining 34 and 21 pounds. Hopefully (and praying) that I keep this pregnancy in the "normal" 25-35 range. At about a pound a week with 12 to go, there is at least a glimmer of hope I can make it happen... I just need to not eat so many Hershey kisses.
What has helped me the most during these first two trimesters is without a doubt attributed to one thing" working out. The month or so that I did not have a gym pass was the hardest month of my pregnancy, while I was still going out and doing stuff I could not muster the same sort of energy I could in a gym. Working out has helped me sleep better, feel (and become!) stronger, and have at least 45 minutes a day where I feel about as invincible as one can be at six months pregnant. For example, yesterday I was able to do an entire group power (lifting) class without having to make any adaptations. Not that I am too prideful (or stupid) to do them, but while I do know my limits, I also know that my body is capable of a lot more than I give it credit for. The marathon proved that to me.
That being said, here is my disclaimer: I worked out just as much (if not more) before I got pregnant, and I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy with no restrictions from my doctor. I drink water like it's going out of style, especially in the group classes. I ALWAYS remember to breathe (funny how hard that is to think about when you are lifting weights) and I ALWAYS listen to my body. If I am not sure how my body is going to react to something (such as the first time I attempted core work on an incline when I was starting to feel bigger), I try it out but at my own pace. ANY kind of pain and I stop. Since I was already working out before pregnancy, I was used to the feelings of discomfort or muscle soreness and my body definitely sends me the red flags when I do anything that goes beyond that. At this point in my pregnancy, I am managing a schedule of daily 45 to 80 minute workouts, depending on the day and how I am feeling. I usually take one day a week off to recover (Sundays) but will occasionally take a yoga class that day if I am really feeling the need for it. My workouts range from lifting on my own, to running on the treadmill (usually between 1 to 3 miles at a depressingly slow 14 mph pace, but at least I'm running), using the elliptical machine/stationary bike/rowing machine/stairmaster, or taking a class. The classes I am currently taking are bootcamp once a week, and the group power class two times a week. Occasionally I will throw in a yoga or pilates class to mix things up a bit. The only thing I do not do is spinning, not because of any restriction but because I have yet to attend a spin class I do not hate. I am fine sitting on a bike but a spin bike? SO uncomfortable, and all I do is staredown the clock till the class is over. NOT my idea of fun.
Anyways, going to the gym and getting an hour of "me" time has been lovely and I am completely spoiled. I may not be skinny, but at least I am strong and that makes me feel beautiful every single day I step foot into the gym. Also, it's always funny to see people stare or make comments about what "dangerous" thing might trigger labor. I certainly don't need running or squats or burpees to trigger my labor but if it shortens it any from the 21 hours I went through last time around, it would be totally worth it. I fully intend on working out in that gym until the day I go into labor.
Also, sometimes those mirrors in the gym are the only time I see my full pregnant body in all it's glory. Shocks me every time. Funny thing is I always think I look huge compared to the week before, and looking over at the first couple of pictures (I apologize they are not in order), I am floored at how tiny I think I look. Especially comparing those last two pictures. Wow.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Last week I was 26 weeks pregnant with #2
This pregnancy is going by so much faster than the last time around, it is truly mind boggling. The weeks go by quicker than I would like and next week I am officially in third trimester. Exactly three months to the day tomorrow, I am due with little A. If this girl knows what's good for her she will stay in there and not come a day sooner because I have a LOT of work to do before her big debut. Mostly stuff I am working on with little d, but also a bunch of side projects I know will be shelved for a year or so if I don't get them done ASAP.
And then there's worrying about the actual birth itself, which I will not go into buy suffice it to say I am going into that hospital (still not sure which one yet) with the full plan and intent of a VBAC. In boot camp class this morning, the instructor was joking that all the burpees I was doing was going to "pop that sucker right out of me". Ha!! If only it were that easy. I'll be sure to do lots of running and burpees right before going to the hospital.
Chocolate carbs and everything dairy are what I've been craving as of late. A moves with an increasing amount of frequency so there has literally not been more than about two hours where I'm not Forced to think about her... Not a terrible thing to be sure. Little d I constantly asking me if she's doing flips just like him and thinks its the funniest thing in the world to make me laugh and watch my belly and button contort as much as it does when it's exposed. Tonight he was just smothering my belly with kisses and I couldn't believe how much he seemed to be in love with someone he has only heard of.
Sleeping is a total nuisance, I never get enough when I can because I have terrible insomnia and then I'm exhausted most of the morning and into the afternoon since I refuse to take a nap (unless its Sunday) to further aggravate said insomnia. Bah enough complaining. I can still workout, lift weights, bike, run 3 miles and otherwise keep myself sane and happy at the gym. I have a healthy baby, uneventful pregnancy, and at only 21 pounds (verses 33 this time last time around) I may be big but I know for a fact it could be worse.
And then there's worrying about the actual birth itself, which I will not go into buy suffice it to say I am going into that hospital (still not sure which one yet) with the full plan and intent of a VBAC. In boot camp class this morning, the instructor was joking that all the burpees I was doing was going to "pop that sucker right out of me". Ha!! If only it were that easy. I'll be sure to do lots of running and burpees right before going to the hospital.
Chocolate carbs and everything dairy are what I've been craving as of late. A moves with an increasing amount of frequency so there has literally not been more than about two hours where I'm not Forced to think about her... Not a terrible thing to be sure. Little d I constantly asking me if she's doing flips just like him and thinks its the funniest thing in the world to make me laugh and watch my belly and button contort as much as it does when it's exposed. Tonight he was just smothering my belly with kisses and I couldn't believe how much he seemed to be in love with someone he has only heard of.
Sleeping is a total nuisance, I never get enough when I can because I have terrible insomnia and then I'm exhausted most of the morning and into the afternoon since I refuse to take a nap (unless its Sunday) to further aggravate said insomnia. Bah enough complaining. I can still workout, lift weights, bike, run 3 miles and otherwise keep myself sane and happy at the gym. I have a healthy baby, uneventful pregnancy, and at only 21 pounds (verses 33 this time last time around) I may be big but I know for a fact it could be worse.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
24 weeks pregnant with #2 and the big move!!
In the last two weeks, we have moved into the most lovely home of our very own and got me my one year gym membership with childcare that rivals Utah in cheapness ($40 a month!) but still has awesome classes.
Other than a lot of movement (and this week marking my entry into braxton hicks Contractions, thanks to moving day) from baby A, there's nothing much to report. I'm up to 15 pounds baby weight, although to be honest it feels more like 30! Still working out, running, lifting weights and just listening to my body... Some days are better than others but overall my body recovers from workouts rather well and quickly.
Little d is content to walk instead of having me carry him or going in the stroller, and if this move has taught me anything it's that two year olds LOVE to help out. While putting his toddler bed together (a $20 Craigslist find, so without instructions it was a bit frustrating), he kept walking into his room where mr. D and I were attempting the put-together, and asking "need some help boys? I can help you!" Exasperated, we both told him that we just needed him to eat his dinner, which he dutifully did after some initial protests. I feel terrible for getting upset at him a few times during our move when he would not listen to me, but truth be told it has been a big adjustment and he has been adjusting beautifully. He fell out of the bed two of the last three nights, and last night told me he would sleep closer to the wall so he wouldn't fall down again. Brave kid. He loves his "own room", "own house" and his big boy bed. We are so lucky to have him.
I was worried in moving at almost 6. Months pregnant with a 2.5 year old that I wouldn't have the time or energy to put the house together to my liking as quickly as I would like. Heavenly father has blessed me a hundredfold and within 24 hours of moving in, the house was perfect and organized. Each day I have found new things that get brought in from my inlaws or something else to organize but each night I go to bed content. I haven't been so undeniably happy since I don't know when... Mr. D got his dealersocket job? We got our pleasant grove apartment? Little d was born?
There's a wonderful feeling and sense of relief that accompanies being a happy little family of 3 in a home and community that fits us perfectly, with room to grow and add our little baby A in a few months. I am less stressed and more relaxed than I have been in months, possibly even years. Being a stay at home mom suits me and I know I am so blessed to have a husband who allows me to do so. While I loved teaching, home is where my heart is.
We have a lovely little yard with a swing set for little d (and friends), and what we did not realize is we are only minutes (walking) from the most beautiful lake. Now all we have to do is keep kevs from being eaten by a coyote. :/
And as an added bonus to a home we are completely in love with, Our closest grocery store has Graeters ice cream. While I haven't had any strong cravings (or aversions thank goodness), I am thinking this could be the start of a beautiful relationship. And yes it is currently the only thing in our freezer.
Other than a lot of movement (and this week marking my entry into braxton hicks Contractions, thanks to moving day) from baby A, there's nothing much to report. I'm up to 15 pounds baby weight, although to be honest it feels more like 30! Still working out, running, lifting weights and just listening to my body... Some days are better than others but overall my body recovers from workouts rather well and quickly.
Little d is content to walk instead of having me carry him or going in the stroller, and if this move has taught me anything it's that two year olds LOVE to help out. While putting his toddler bed together (a $20 Craigslist find, so without instructions it was a bit frustrating), he kept walking into his room where mr. D and I were attempting the put-together, and asking "need some help boys? I can help you!" Exasperated, we both told him that we just needed him to eat his dinner, which he dutifully did after some initial protests. I feel terrible for getting upset at him a few times during our move when he would not listen to me, but truth be told it has been a big adjustment and he has been adjusting beautifully. He fell out of the bed two of the last three nights, and last night told me he would sleep closer to the wall so he wouldn't fall down again. Brave kid. He loves his "own room", "own house" and his big boy bed. We are so lucky to have him.
I was worried in moving at almost 6. Months pregnant with a 2.5 year old that I wouldn't have the time or energy to put the house together to my liking as quickly as I would like. Heavenly father has blessed me a hundredfold and within 24 hours of moving in, the house was perfect and organized. Each day I have found new things that get brought in from my inlaws or something else to organize but each night I go to bed content. I haven't been so undeniably happy since I don't know when... Mr. D got his dealersocket job? We got our pleasant grove apartment? Little d was born?
There's a wonderful feeling and sense of relief that accompanies being a happy little family of 3 in a home and community that fits us perfectly, with room to grow and add our little baby A in a few months. I am less stressed and more relaxed than I have been in months, possibly even years. Being a stay at home mom suits me and I know I am so blessed to have a husband who allows me to do so. While I loved teaching, home is where my heart is.
We have a lovely little yard with a swing set for little d (and friends), and what we did not realize is we are only minutes (walking) from the most beautiful lake. Now all we have to do is keep kevs from being eaten by a coyote. :/
And as an added bonus to a home we are completely in love with, Our closest grocery store has Graeters ice cream. While I haven't had any strong cravings (or aversions thank goodness), I am thinking this could be the start of a beautiful relationship. And yes it is currently the only thing in our freezer.
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